God Shouldn’t Have To Do It All – Thoughts To My Sons


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“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.” – Charles de Montesquieu


Getting To Your Dreams – Thoughts To My Sons


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What’s so hard about making your dreams come true if you consider the recipe and mechanisms to reach them?  First, it starts with imagining them for yourselves in a way that they seem real and thus within your reach. Next, you believe and have faith that you, and only you, have the capacity and capability to accomplish them no matter the obstacles.  And finally and most importantly, you have to be absolutely 150% committed to putting in a determined effort to reach your destination without accepting that alternatives or options exist short of your dreams.

I’ve found that the only times I’ve ever abandoned any lofty goals are when I’ve surrendered that commitment in exchange for convenience and practicality, using paltry excuses, flawed justifications, and misdirected blame to comfort the loss of something I really wanted and could have had.  You guys are at a stage where your dreams are closer than you realize and if you stay committed to and focused on your quests, what you dream about will turn out to being another among your growing prized possessions.  I’ll provide the hope, support, and encouragement as you get there, while you guys do the heavy lifting and hard work necessary so in the end, we’ll all celebrate together in the kingdoms you’ve created!


Find Your Way To The Target – Message To My Sons


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I’ve learned it’s best to remember that as you move forward racing towards your stars, the target never changes no matter what we unexpectedly encounter.  A change in goals is never the option, just adjustments in the directions to get them.  

You know I never had a “plan B” in the event I didn’t go to law school and I guess if I did, I’d probably have quit along the way and given up on a lifelong dream knowing I could settle for a “realistic” alternative.  There were obstacles that either were put in my way or I threw down myself but my “plan B” was always to just change the route and keep pushing until I got there in the end.  I was too stubborn or stupid to understand that maybe I couldn’t get to where I wanted when others had their silent doubts that it would ever happen.

The point is that the goals you know you want and can get to never, ever change on anyone else’s terms or forecasts until you find out what the end of the road reveals and you know why?  I firmly believe in you from what I know and have seen for so long to the extent that your goals don’t need a “plan B”, at least at this stage of your young life since you’re probably only a few steps away from them or closer than you know.  

Sometimes all that’s required is just a change in outlook and trajectory when things don’t go as initially planned since our capacity to achieve all of our individual dreams will always be there.  All it takes is you’re willingness to put in the time and work to get them and, ignore those who predict your own personal outcome when they don’t know enough about you or weren’t ever capable of doing the same things. 

Very few things succeed on their own or by accident, or on the first attempts, and/or without a rebalancing of the mechanisms that take us to the revelations that await and are meant for us so never give up.  Just don’t be locked into one approach and if necessary, do it differently to do it better than everyone else chasing the same things.

Remember, I want you to “have it all”, not because I’m your dad existing in delusion but because I know that you’re on the right side of history where so many have done much more beyond what you seek with a helluva lot less!

Jason Now That You’re 21, Don’t Forget… – A Yearly Reminder


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(A Favorite I Wrote In 2015 To Jason As He Turns A Year Older Today – It Seems The Message Has More Meaning Each Year He Grows)

“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace.  The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.” – Dalai Lama

Jason because I’m your Dad, I’m going to leave this for you to think about because it took me a lot longer to put into consistent practice.  The easiest decisions we make for ourselves are either the most obvious or convenient.  Oftentimes the hardest decisions are the ones that are best for ourselves because of not only what we gain from them, but the things and people that we give up or are left by the rode side on the way to the destination we want to move towards.  We are strengthened if we exercise kindness for ourselves and find the inner peace that are the most important and basic components that will get us towards where we hope to end up.  I think the answer doesn’t really change to the questions that continue to confront us in either our minds or God’s eyes and His role I believe is solely to give us additional clarity and strength to make those difficult decisions.  Also the results don’t change other than to grow more problematic when we end up delaying them for the sake of ease, convenience, or avoidance of the inevitable confrontation. You are the only one who can provide the greatest gifts to and for YOU as you get older because the situations and circumstances are fading from my and Mom’s control but never our support.

Read this again:  “In reflecting on the times of my life, it occurs to me that the difficult, arduous experiences always pass, or at least wane to a tolerable level. On the other hand, thankfully, the positive, uplifting aspects of my life’s journey seem to hold strong and steady throughout, as long as I appreciate and nurture them.”  What we think we lose while we are young coupled with the importance we apply to them will fade in time sooner when you’re younger, and the other things that fill those gaps will make us question why we didn’t act sooner!

I’m no genius but I can tell you that there has not been one thing I’ve lost in the past, including my parents, where that void wasn’t eventually filled somehow and somewhere to give me something that would allow me to continue to see a future full of optimism.  I’m not just talking about the addition of you and Christian in my life, but all things including what I surprisingly discovered along the way while recovering from an injury where I didn’t expect to learn so much from.  It’s funny how things just worked out that way from the most unorthodox circumstances and with it, the peace I was seeking slowly settled within my soul where it could be best served.