1/24/15

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

So now I’m going to ask you boys for something which is less a request and more of a challenge and test. In a way it’s something you owe yourselves as part of a discovery of who you are and how others see you and/or may be affected by you. At a minimum after all I’ve written and hopefully assisted you with, this is something that you owe me.

Life has a funny way of working out but many things are not really random. It can be excellent at times and others, well not so much. Our ability to make an average day better from our own efforts is not something we should take for granted when we boil it down to its basics. The best part of our day and overall existence should not be the greatest gifts we receive but the simplest gifts we give and just maybe, create for others.

You boys by virtue of being athletes, relatively easy on the eyes, personable, charming, fairly witty, etc., consequently may fall into the “popular” and “admired” categories, at least in the high and middle school arenas. All of this changes in the college settings where you can get overlooked in a larger population and the grading scale of success is different.

So take this time to use this aspect of your status to reach out to those who would never imagine that you would even acknowledge them. They are no less important than those you regularly interact with and importantly, can add a new dimension to your emerging interpersonal skills by exploring their own unique and distinctive attributes. You just might be surprised that by performing this simple act of altruism, you may expand your understanding of your infinite coexistence with a few of the 7 billion people on this planet.

This a perfect time to attempt to figuratively “touch someone” in an unexpected and meaningful fashion because of the daily paths you cross in your school communities. When you get older and in your professional world, you will meet a lot of people who you are essentially required to interact with, and consequently it’s financially beneficial to excel in that capacity. But how authentic are those interactions when the objectives are more self-serving than a genuine extension of the best of who you are. No excuse, just the frequent trap that engulfs us. It’s unfortunate to find that we ignore the opportunities, either due to the hectic pace or schedule of our days, to slow down and capitalize on the random lives that we can affect or be affected by.

So my challenge is to make a simple attempt this next week (or longer) to acknowledge the unlikeliest of suspects whether it be another student, teacher, staff member, janitor, acquaintance, etc., who may fall outside your normal social sphere and would least expect it – I’m sure you can think of a few people who fall in that category. Take an extra few seconds to just say “hi” or “how are you” to that person and pay attention to the response, if any, and do it at least one more time in the upcoming days. If done only once, it can be construed as a fluke or aberration. Importantly, initiate the encounter and use the person’s name, look at them, smile, and again at a minimum, wait for some sort of response and then take it however you wish from there. Don’t think about it too much – just try it because there’s no reason not to and you might find a surprising return on the investment.

I’m not asking you to adopt my routine because frankly, you probably think I’m nuts! I have the time, desire, and my own personal objectives which essentially involve gratitude for where I’m at and where I want my soul to remain. Some might think I reach out to so many random individuals outside of my comfort zone for attention but that’s where they’d be mistaken. My intention has never been to draw attention to myself (although that’s often the outcome), but to give my attention to those around me who deserve or maybe could just use it. In the end though, I know that I benefit from it in too many ways to count and describe in detail.

All of our lives offer so many unnoticed and undiscovered things which really take little awareness to uncover. Sometimes we get so locked inside our routines to appreciate what’s in front of us because we think external demands and distractions insist upon it. Let’s be clear – they shouldn’t, they’re really not as significant as you think, and you can control your approach to them, all for the better!

So please be thoughtful in everything you do, and let that also include those who just happen to be part of your surroundings because the opportunities are abundant and shouldn’t be ignored.

And you want to know why it should come easy? Because it’s the way you were raised, it’s who you are, and it honors your parents and those who influenced you to be that way!

11/20/14

“I just think it’s silly to be stingy with compliments. If you see someone and they strike you as beautiful in any way, why not let them know?”

Obviously I embrace this mindset and during the past year, I’ve made it a point to let people know of any observation that justifies praise of the quality of their character and/or characteristics, regardless of age, gender, race, et., since my senses are not limited by filters that may distort them. I’m sure it may appear to some as a way to draw attention to myself, but it’s more an expression of gratitude for drawing my attention to them. Acknowledgement of another’s simple beauty is no less glorious than the artistry captured in the works of Da Vinci or the Egyptian pyramids, and can be simply appreciated within our personal surroundings and observations.

Here’s an abstract concept. There is nothing more remarkable than the feelings generated when an infant smiles or giggles in response to our presence. Regardless of the setting, I know that I am mesmerized by such simple expressions of a baby who’s just discovering awareness of that which is around him/her. I suppose in those simple moments, that newborn reminds me of the power behind a simple “compliment”. I mean this tiny human being sees with fresh, untarnished eyes before it how I’d like to see and feel about myself, sharing it so willingly and without restriction that in that moment, I actually am that person! Such simple and modest an actions by someone so young and small, but how magnetic and mystical the emotions and semi-comedic actions generated in our responses.

We are taught about the concept of our inner soul but there is no specific definition of its precise makeup as it relates to each individual. There are objective explanations that we are given mainly through religious interpretations and then additionally defined by our subjective measurements through personal experience and enlightenment.

Our souls grow through the wealth of daily trials we encounter and then it is measured by the results and the quality of our responses. We cannot define it by compliments we strive for, desire, or demand, since then we are confusing our souls with vanity, ego, and at times insecurity. Our souls soar when we receive them unexpectedly, from the most unlikely sources, with some thought and genuineness, and best of all when it’s needed the most. For me, my soul travels outside my inner self and is strengthened when I offer complimentary observations not necessarily based on the response I receive in return, but more the appreciation of someone or something that is part of my world as it exists at that moment. “Stingy with compliments” just robs ourselves of opportunities to expand the width and depth of our awareness. It also restricts our connection with the innocence of our youth going back to our infancy that is often shuttered behind the travails of our time.

Lacking better words on my own, I have embraced and am determined to live through the following quotation because it has given me sanctuary from everyday discord, and provides peace and rhythm to my day. My hope is after reading it, you will do more than embrace it as you live!

“I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.”