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~ Convergence of reflections, contemplations, and other musings

JoeDicoSpeaks

Monthly Archives: January 2015

Changing OUR Worlds

30 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Looking forward

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Inspiration, Life, Motivation

1/4/15

“Peace is better than war, because life is better than death.” Mario Cuomo at the 1984 Democratic Convention.

Such a simple, logical statement. I genuinely hope that our country’s leaders remember this before we engage in world conflicts that risk the lives of our young men and women soldiers, those of innocent civilians, and the hearts of friends and families who suffer the loss of either. With two young sons, I need to be assured that these engagements are not for more of what we want versus need, and to protect universal moral and virtuous principles.

We may not be able to change the world on a global scale but we can change OUR worlds on a more individual and personal level if we adhere to basic, inescapable, and unarguable truths. For me, the recognition and practice of these absolute tenets help to cleanse, strengthen, and energize my soul so that I get closer to that utopian existence I strive for.

Now for most of these, I’m sure that the instinctive response is “thank you Captain Obvious” or “no S… Sherlock”! You’re right but if common sense already tells us this, why do I sense that too many still don’t exercise the most logical choice to avoid the most illogical outcome. So read each one quietly to yourself as a reminder and just long enough for it to resonate, hopefully for some benefit and revitalized understanding. At a minimum, just indulge me since connecting the antonyms to various words served as a more difficult challenge to the daily “cognitive crossword puzzles” I still have to solve stemming from my injury. Most importantly, remember that these are about what we should share along with what we want to receive.

Love is better than hate; Kindness is better than apathy; Hope is better than surrender; Encouragement is better than criticism; Generosity is better than self-entitlement; Humility is better than vanity; Truth is better than deception; Honesty is better than duplicity; Accountability is better than denial; Forgiveness is better than condemnation; Sensitivity is better than indifference; Patience is better than interruption; Expressing emotions is better than suppressing them; Passion is better than disinterest; Harmony is better than disorder; Simple compliments are better than detailed critiques; A hug is better than a handshake (or fist bump); A smile heals more than a glare. Etc.

The list goes on and on and feel free to modify or expand on the foregoing but recognize that we always have a choices between whichever option we “want” to exercise. It may take practice, discipline, and maybe some redirection, but remember that what we do for others we end up doing for ourselves so as a result, OUR worlds can change.

I’m close to ending this as I watch the tribute to Stuart Scott of ESPN who died this morning at the age of 49 from cancer. I rarely shed tears over the death of someone I never met but here they are as I recall the countless days I watched him on ESPN (“boo-yah” and “cooler than the other side of the pillow”), and his speech after receiving the “Jim Valvano Award” at the ESPY’s last year. Just someone who made a difference in MY world.

And finally words from another who was literally lost a long time ago but seemed appropriate for this writing. “The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do, and the more genuine may be one’s appreciation of fundamental things like home, and love, and understanding companionship.”
— Amelia Earhart

So do “more” good because it’s better than doing the opposite or worse, “nothing”!

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Reaching Out to the Unlikely – Challenge to My (All) Teens

29 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Kindness

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Tags

Inspiration, Life, Motivation

1/24/15

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.”

So now I’m going to ask you boys for something which is less a request and more of a challenge and test. In a way it’s something you owe yourselves as part of a discovery of who you are and how others see you and/or may be affected by you. At a minimum after all I’ve written and hopefully assisted you with, this is something that you owe me.

Life has a funny way of working out but many things are not really random. It can be excellent at times and others, well not so much. Our ability to make an average day better from our own efforts is not something we should take for granted when we boil it down to its basics. The best part of our day and overall existence should not be the greatest gifts we receive but the simplest gifts we give and just maybe, create for others.

You boys by virtue of being athletes, relatively easy on the eyes, personable, charming, fairly witty, etc., consequently may fall into the “popular” and “admired” categories, at least in the high and middle school arenas. All of this changes in the college settings where you can get overlooked in a larger population and the grading scale of success is different.

So take this time to use this aspect of your status to reach out to those who would never imagine that you would even acknowledge them. They are no less important than those you regularly interact with and importantly, can add a new dimension to your emerging interpersonal skills by exploring their own unique and distinctive attributes. You just might be surprised that by performing this simple act of altruism, you may expand your understanding of your infinite coexistence with a few of the 7 billion people on this planet.

This a perfect time to attempt to figuratively “touch someone” in an unexpected and meaningful fashion because of the daily paths you cross in your school communities. When you get older and in your professional world, you will meet a lot of people who you are essentially required to interact with, and consequently it’s financially beneficial to excel in that capacity. But how authentic are those interactions when the objectives are more self-serving than a genuine extension of the best of who you are. No excuse, just the frequent trap that engulfs us. It’s unfortunate to find that we ignore the opportunities, either due to the hectic pace or schedule of our days, to slow down and capitalize on the random lives that we can affect or be affected by.

So my challenge is to make a simple attempt this next week (or longer) to acknowledge the unlikeliest of suspects whether it be another student, teacher, staff member, janitor, acquaintance, etc., who may fall outside your normal social sphere and would least expect it – I’m sure you can think of a few people who fall in that category. Take an extra few seconds to just say “hi” or “how are you” to that person and pay attention to the response, if any, and do it at least one more time in the upcoming days. If done only once, it can be construed as a fluke or aberration. Importantly, initiate the encounter and use the person’s name, look at them, smile, and again at a minimum, wait for some sort of response and then take it however you wish from there. Don’t think about it too much – just try it because there’s no reason not to and you might find a surprising return on the investment.

I’m not asking you to adopt my routine because frankly, you probably think I’m nuts! I have the time, desire, and my own personal objectives which essentially involve gratitude for where I’m at and where I want my soul to remain. Some might think I reach out to so many random individuals outside of my comfort zone for attention but that’s where they’d be mistaken. My intention has never been to draw attention to myself (although that’s often the outcome), but to give my attention to those around me who deserve or maybe could just use it. In the end though, I know that I benefit from it in too many ways to count and describe in detail.

All of our lives offer so many unnoticed and undiscovered things which really take little awareness to uncover. Sometimes we get so locked inside our routines to appreciate what’s in front of us because we think external demands and distractions insist upon it. Let’s be clear – they shouldn’t, they’re really not as significant as you think, and you can control your approach to them, all for the better!

So please be thoughtful in everything you do, and let that also include those who just happen to be part of your surroundings because the opportunities are abundant and shouldn’t be ignored.

And you want to know why it should come easy? Because it’s the way you were raised, it’s who you are, and it honors your parents and those who influenced you to be that way!

 

Wonderful Days – Message to Jason

28 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Hope

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Tags

Life, Motivation

3/12/14

“The moment you wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the 24 hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, that anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn’t matters not a bit. The possibility always there.” I was thinking that each day should begin with hope but be prepared for some unexpected challenges. We should be confident that we can rise above and defeat almost all of them at some point and at a minimum, end up in nothing less than a stalemate. I just cannot accept that we should end up on the losing end even if bloodied in the battle. Very few things are insurmountable if given enough effort, thought, time, and sometimes creativity (think beyond the box or outside someone else’s beliefs). Also don’t be too proud to admit that you are temporarily stuck or lost and need some help from your vested allies (i.e., your Dad) to get back on track. That’s why God did not put you on this planet alone! You have been provided with invaluable company by virtue of the existence of your parents who will help guide you home when you are lost. Just don’t neglect those simple challenges in those 24 hours; otherwise they eventually turn out more than simple and become an unwanted occupant of the next 24 my child! Just thinking.

Be Extraordinary – Message to My Sons

27 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Baseball Equals Life

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Tags

Inspiration, Life, Motivation

6/28/14

“Overcome the notion that you must be regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary.” I was thinking that many of us at some time try to do things so that we can be “different” or “one of a kind”. Think about it this way! Other than some basic genetic and anthropologic similarities, we are already at the outset of our lives “different”, “one of a kind”, and unique. That is a fabulous start to our lives that must be nurtured so that our individuality is fueled and strengthened. I’m at a loss to explain the mechanism that causes people to confuse cooperation with conformity. While one allows us to actively be a participant in our daily existence for the betterment of ourselves and those around us, the latter jeopardizes our basic makeup and belief structure to succumb to the wills of others which temporary delays or tragically extinguishes our aspirations. I am proud to have known you boys through these years and my admiration comes from your undefinable uniqueness. There are certain inherent aspects of the person inside and outside of you that will affect not only your present and future, but those in your lives now and those who you will come across. As baseball players, you affect your play and that of your team but only by finding what exists even in the distant portals of your physical, mental, and emotional make up will you be a difference-maker. That will apply in life as well! Don’t sit back idly waiting for something to happen or someone else to do it for you when you have the ultimate control on the outcome by maintaining the dedication, effort, work, and recognition that an opportunity is in front of you that requires not only attention, but a prompt response to obtain the rewards offered by that opportunity. Do not accept being “normal” because other than medical measurements, I have no idea what that means! Strive to be “extraordinary” when the circumstances present you with those challenges and not only will the positive outcomes be memorable, you will have the honor to be “remembered” by those lucky enough to have witnessed them!

A Living Choice

25 Sunday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Hope

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Tags

Inspiration, Joy, Life

There may be times where some would expect us to sour on life. We should remember the best reason against it. We are alive! If nothing else immediately comes to mind, we should think about good memories, have a great deal of hope for the ones ahead of us, and eventually make an effort to find a reason that’s probably right in front of us.

The Magic of Compliments

24 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Kindness

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Inspiration, Life, Motivation

11/20/14

“I just think it’s silly to be stingy with compliments. If you see someone and they strike you as beautiful in any way, why not let them know?”

Obviously I embrace this mindset and during the past year, I’ve made it a point to let people know of any observation that justifies praise of the quality of their character and/or characteristics, regardless of age, gender, race, et., since my senses are not limited by filters that may distort them. I’m sure it may appear to some as a way to draw attention to myself, but it’s more an expression of gratitude for drawing my attention to them. Acknowledgement of another’s simple beauty is no less glorious than the artistry captured in the works of Da Vinci or the Egyptian pyramids, and can be simply appreciated within our personal surroundings and observations.

Here’s an abstract concept. There is nothing more remarkable than the feelings generated when an infant smiles or giggles in response to our presence. Regardless of the setting, I know that I am mesmerized by such simple expressions of a baby who’s just discovering awareness of that which is around him/her. I suppose in those simple moments, that newborn reminds me of the power behind a simple “compliment”. I mean this tiny human being sees with fresh, untarnished eyes before it how I’d like to see and feel about myself, sharing it so willingly and without restriction that in that moment, I actually am that person! Such simple and modest an actions by someone so young and small, but how magnetic and mystical the emotions and semi-comedic actions generated in our responses.

We are taught about the concept of our inner soul but there is no specific definition of its precise makeup as it relates to each individual. There are objective explanations that we are given mainly through religious interpretations and then additionally defined by our subjective measurements through personal experience and enlightenment.

Our souls grow through the wealth of daily trials we encounter and then it is measured by the results and the quality of our responses. We cannot define it by compliments we strive for, desire, or demand, since then we are confusing our souls with vanity, ego, and at times insecurity. Our souls soar when we receive them unexpectedly, from the most unlikely sources, with some thought and genuineness, and best of all when it’s needed the most. For me, my soul travels outside my inner self and is strengthened when I offer complimentary observations not necessarily based on the response I receive in return, but more the appreciation of someone or something that is part of my world as it exists at that moment. “Stingy with compliments” just robs ourselves of opportunities to expand the width and depth of our awareness. It also restricts our connection with the innocence of our youth going back to our infancy that is often shuttered behind the travails of our time.

Lacking better words on my own, I have embraced and am determined to live through the following quotation because it has given me sanctuary from everyday discord, and provides peace and rhythm to my day. My hope is after reading it, you will do more than embrace it as you live!

“I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.”

Do Something With Your Life – Message to Sons

23 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Reflection

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Tags

Inspiration, Life, Motivation

8/8/14

“Do something with your life!” Beginning of the song “American Dream”.

As I’ve said before, do not believe anyone who uses the phrases “life’s not fair” or “leaving it in the hands of fate” to justify their actions or inactions, and don’t you use it as an excuse for the results of yours. Life in and of itself is blind and thereby has no favorites nor does it seek out individuals to punish so neither life nor fate is an overwhelming predator that seeks to alter or destroy the path of our existence. In addition, God may have a yet unknown plan for us but I’m pretty certain it’s not one initially tainted with vengeance or misery, and I’m even more certain He allows us room to determine a plan not only for ourselves but in some ways for others.

So then what is not fair and the cause? People are not fair to others, themselves, or their surroundings. Circumstances and situations do not always present themselves as fair but so what – improvise, adapt, and overcome!

People blame where, how, and to whom they were born as the default response to why success or goals were unattainable. If that’s true, then how come the most inspirational stories begin with “he/she came from (fill in the blank) and/or challenge of (fill in the blank) and overcame them to achieve (fill in the blank)? How can we justify our inability to overcome significantly less obstacles when there is so much evidence to the contrary that it can be done?

I’m sorry but life and fate are not an excuse for lack of determination, commitment, effort, and procrastination. If that’s your reasoning, get used to bearing witness to those passing you by while you dwell on being the perceived victim of life and fate, and punctuate it by advertising as a figurative martyr on a cross.

Bottom line is that life is fair because you have the opportunity to live it dictated by your control of its impact on yourself, those around you, your surroundings, and thus change all the relevant circumstances. Alter your fate or surrender to someone else’s. Strive so that you feel great about: yourself, what you’ve done for yourself and others, how you’re appreciated by others, and how you feel about living your life. Now do something with your life!

Perfect Days – Message to My Sons

22 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Hope

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Always remember what is perfect for you! Your life does not belong to anyone but you and at best, it’s only borrowed from God for the time he has designed. Perfection is the ideal but perfect is how the simplest, truly magical things each day add up to make you smile at night when you afford them their proper recognition, and set aside the truly unimportant and meaningless frustrations that in time will be forgotten as they fade and take their place among the fairly inconsequential. I wish this for you each day because I love you my child. Make sure to share this magic in the hope that someone who needs it may also end their night with a smile when they reflect upon what was so simple to share.

Take Action – Message to My Sons

21 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Baseball Equals Life

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Tags

Inspiration, Motivation

Think about you want. Now think about how you’re fully capable of getting it. Now think about what you are willing to do better than others to get it first. You can’t have anything unless you do a lot more than JUST THINK about it. Oh and while you’re still trying to decide, someone’s probably already doing it and maybe even better, leaving you to race from behind for something that should have belonged to you in the first place! I don’t know about you but that thought alone would piss me off! Then again, that’s just me and what do I know (brain injury and all)?

Bless the Day – Message to My Child

20 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by jdicochea in Gratitude

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

kindness, Life

5/16/14

“You were given a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you’?.”

Whether it be to God, family, friends, a loved one, or even random stranger who was kind to you, don’t miss the opportunity to express a level of gratitude. If to God, don’t forget to thank Him for the challenges and obstacles you’ll face because by exhausting your efforts to overcome them, you find and define yourself and ultimately begin to understand His intensions and why He has faith in you and each other.  Also in those numerous seconds, mix in a few hugs, smiles to others, laughs, “I love you’s”, silly moments, tears if your heart is moved that much, and reflections of the day.  It took me a long time to realize this so I pass it on to you my Child. It’s so worth it!

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