Monthly Archives: March 2015

“Overachievement” or “Underdiscovery”? – Shout Out To 2014 Redondo Baseball

29 Sunday Mar 2015

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life, Reflection

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9/15/14

Know that no matter how hard we try and what is gained or left unachieved in our efforts each day, appreciate this. We learn so much about ourselves and that we can achieve exponentially more during the days ahead by applying that discovery towards our future endeavors.

I came up with this thought while at the beach the other day and it kind of encapsulated a great deal of my transformation. Walk through this with me if you can see my logic. I don’t like using the term “failure” because by making the initial effort, you have only been “unsuccessful” so far in your initial attempt(s) and only by learning through those attempts can you see how close you are to success. Hopefully you wisely use that experience and knowledge to recalculate the next attempts to quicken our approach to our objectives or expansion beyond them.

I do understand the concept of “underachievement” to the extent that one chooses, for whatever reason, not to apply their known ability to a situation that demands it. More disappointing than the outcome is the knowledge that the preparation was so insufficient that the ability could not be called upon because the resources for its application were unavailable. Either way, responsibility boils down to personal ownership of all related causes.

With respect to the over applied term “overachievement”, I’ll put it out there that it does not exist and is primarily used for dramatic effect. It’s certainly debatable but in my opinion, “overachievement” is really a matter of “under-discovery”. We learn almost every new day that we are capable of more than we expected of ourselves by embracing our existing and newly encountered challenges. Prime example: last season Redondo High baseball team. Casual observers would dismiss the success of the team reaching CIF semi-finals as just a result of “overachievement”. Maybe there was a lack of appreciation by the coaches and team of the hurdles that needed to be conquered a month before the Bay League season started and ended (remember the no-hitter against you in Irvine).

As an observer, I saw two simple adjustments made by the coaches (finally) that changed the tempo of the Seahawks and not because one involved my son. Jason was moved to the second spot in the batting order to compliment Duncan when he got on base and serve as a secondary leadoff hitter when he didn’t. Cassius was moved into the batting order when he was pitching and to the outfield when he wasn’t to add more athleticism and to upgrade the offense. Those minor adjustments led to more scoring opportunities which accentuated an already sound pitching and defensive core. It’s no accident that the changes resulted in a winning streak that culminated just 3 runs from Dodger stadium. Confidence led to performance leading to a growing awareness of the attainable.

I’ll finally leave you with this challenge. I know it’s fairly impossible to bring your “A” game to every encounter. However when presented with the greatest obstacles in the path of your most sought after goals, apply and exhaust the best part of you to overcome it. Do not allow the term “underachievement” to be used to explain the outcome. You’ll see what you thought was the best you could achieve, regardless of the result, is only a precursor to what is available to you in the future given the proper outer effort and inner discovery. Then history of YOUR world can be rewritten everyday as a consequence.

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When Cliches Have Meaning – Something For Sons to Think About

25 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by in Kindness, Reflection

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10/7/14

I’m not a big fan of cliches. They are used too frequently without thought and just products of repetitive statements we use during complex situations that certainly require something of more value and sentiment to the recipient.

I was thinking of one in particular. “I’m here for you” or “I’m there for you”. I get the basic gist of it – a simple offering of support and maybe a little more but what should it mean? I guess I could devote a great deal of analysis to these statements but my evaluation is centered around what I’ve meant when saying it in the past compared to now, and what it’s meant when offered in my direction.

Thinking when I used to say it, I pretty much meant it literally. I’d be “here” for someone but they’d have to generally come to where I was if they needed something important. I was “there” for someone but not really. I was usually at a safe distance so that I would be unable or unwilling to get “there”. Not always and maybe not intentionally but in thinking back, too frequently.

In addition, I find little comfort when someone says “I’m there for you” when going through tough times. I really don’t need a congregation of people at where I’m at since I already know how I got “there” and don’t like where “there” is at. I may not expect the answers but it won’t help me to have company “there”. What is needed is a temporary escape from “there” and maybe another mind and set of eyes to show me a possible way to get out of “there” because a cascade of thoughts and emotions sometimes complicates the recognition of the simplest and most logical solutions.

I know, this sounds like a bad comedy bit but here’s the point. Now when I say “I’m here for you”, it means that when called upon, I will be “there with you.” I understand that trying to provide a quick solution to a complex dilemma generally leads down a more complex path or at times proving to be more destructive. I do know that taking someone from where they may be (figuratively and/or literally), slowing things down, maybe mixing a genuine hug and reason to smile, and letting them be heard so that they can hear themselves on the outside of their mind provides a good starting point to get out of “there”. This then challenges the best parts of myself by seeing what that person (not me) is capable of doing and offering small guidance about what might be done to slowly take their initial steps somewhere else. Importantly they will know that if needed, I will support and help them up (not carry) when they stumble and fall. More importantly I will reinforce them on the best direction because it’s their obligation to “make it happen” for themselves.

This is a lot of words but a simple point I hope you recognize. By who you are, you have the best potential to be difference makers. By virtue of how you were raised and the nature of your character, personality, compassion, morality, and fundamental beliefs, you can provide so much of the best part of who you are to others. I’m not just talking about the obvious targets like girlfriends or family but also friends and acquaintances who are reluctant to demonstrate the hidden cracks on their hearts and souls.

How often do we ask “what’s wrong” and get a response like “I’m fine” or “okay” (save that discussion for another day) and settle for it when we know things are absolutely the opposite. I won’t ask “what you are waiting for” but more “why are you waiting”? You are no longer the “innocents” of my generation but increasingly responsible and accountable for your generation. If you want a perfect world, time to start perfecting the world around you and see if it can be expanded a bit at a time through your own acts of kindness based on your own goodness.

I’ll end with the words of a U2 song. “A broken (or injured) heart is an open heart” so if you recognize it, maybe that’s the time you could really be “there” to help it heal – this is separate and apart from romantic relationships but on a more profound scale. Simple gestures might just lead to small miracles. Either way, I’ve been “here for you”, will be “there with you”, and help you get away from “there”, and always will! It’s not hard to find me, you know?

The Journey Slowed With What Was Lost, Yet Never Stopped

22 Sunday Mar 2015

Posted by in Confessional, Looking forward, Reflection

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3/14/15

“In reflecting on the times of my life, it occurs to me that the difficult, arduous experiences always pass, or at least wane to a tolerable level. On the other hand, thankfully, the positive, uplifting aspects of my life journey seem to hold strong and steady throughout, as long as I appreciate and nurture them.”
— David L. Weatherford

So here’s what I’ve learned and better understand about all that has happened in my life. All those times that I once thought were one of the worst times in my life eventually just became parts of it and nowhere near the calamities and catastrophes I though they were. It just seems that the natural evolution of time provides a resolution for the past and better context for the future.

The difficulties in our lives certainly have an impact on it and the quality in how we will continue to live it afterwards. Part of that is dependent on how we continue to perceive those difficulties and how long we allow them to exercise control over every day that occurs after them. To me it seems we have to forge a relationship between the acceptance of what has occurred and that in time, the eventuality they will fade in the background and reside in the past where they belong. I’m not saying they should be forgotten because that’s not realistic but as I’ve said before, “don’t give light to the past”, when we should remain resolute to working with the hope and promise of better days ahead of us because they are truly out their. Their visibility is entirely dependent on whether our eyes and mind process what is in front of us and not hampered by that which cannot be changed.

Here is a personal example. Both my parents died 20 years ago within the span of 10 months. I’m still not sure which was more painful; witnessing their battles with cancer during the 4 years leading to their deaths, or dealing with the actual loss following their passing. The former still allowed me additional time with them but with the trade off of having them suffer through indescribable pain as they fought for those extra days. The latter gave them freedom from that pain when they decided they’d had enough and in a sense it gave me peace as well, until the realization set in that they were forever lost, at least in my earthly existence. I still don’t know which one was more severe but by any measure it was the worst time of my life no matter what internal and external coping mechanisms I exercised to minimize it.

In undertaking various philosophies and advice on how to grieve, I found in due course that all I needed was time for personal reflection, perspective, and the realization that I was fortunate for the time I had with them. If broken down on simple and natural levels, I accepted that this was the normal and inevitable sequence of generational events. Although distinguishable from others in the details, it was inevitable that they would pass before me and I was fortunate for how I remember them and how they live within almost everything I do, see, and feel. In time I realized that it was not so much healing from their loss but getting on with the investment in myself, people, and things, that deserved and required my attention. I had Deb at the time but the void left behind was eventually filled by Jason, Christian, and so many other changes in my world that grew to be just as meaningful because they became part of my “NOW” and “TOMORROWS”. Given their importance in how I continue to define and find significance in the life I still lead, it became critical to keep pace with them rather than wallow unnecessarily over losses and moments that are better left where they should remain. Otherwise whatever influence and contributions that my family and others may benefit from would be rendered obsolete with the passage of time.

A lot of people refer to life as a journey and by all means it is, or at least it should be. But for anything to qualify as a “journey”, there needs to be some progression and movement towards a destination; otherwise we remain ships adrift without sails or dry docked in the ports of call that we restrict ourselves too for convenience and safety. That is of course until the next hurricane, typhoon, or other natural calamity strikes and the only hope is to weather them and repair the damage that results. For me, I’m more interested in getting to where I want and need to be and would rather sail through and around them as opposed to remaining stationary and risk being beaten into submission.

I understand that God is behind some of the potentially disruptive forces we will undoubtedly encounter. However I honestly believe He still gives us the choice to step around many of those that can and should be avoided, and move beyond the others once the dust has settled and we are given greater clarity to continue on with our journey.

So we have to be aware that there will be times when we will be temporarily slowed or even stopped dead in our tracks depending on the severity of what was hurled our way or tragically taken from us. Still we have to remember that while we repair, reassemble, and regroup from those things that challenge us, other parts of our life move on without the same hesitation and at times, demanding and screaming for our attention and care. If I ever need the motivation and inspiration to escape any sorrow I feel for myself, all I do is think of Dee Dee. To lose her husband to cancer with infant and toddler sons who were too young to understand the loss she carried each day forward and still raise them remarkably, I have neither the words are insight to describe the tribulations she must have worked through. People liberally exercise the adjective “heroes” and “heroines” to mundane achievements but Dee Dee is on any scale absolutely and unequivocally one of mine and Cole and Brice, I hope she is one of yours! Maybe like my parents, our children along with what was discovered and added along the way became our salvation. Oh have I mentioned before that I “f’ing hate cancer”!

So when life changes through addition or subtraction and it seems like the challenges to recover from them are insurmountable, they’re not! The seeds have been or will be planted to grow from those moments and with hope, effort, and time, the pain will eventually fade and our lives will soon bask in the happiness of the quality, quantity, and beauty that replaces those moments if we exercise our capacity to appreciate and enjoy them. There are only two things that can be taken that matter. The first is when our last heartbeat is extinguished on this earth and that is decided by God. The second is when all hope, faith, and joy in living is surrendered and that is extinguished by ourselves.

Last quote and I hope you got through the lengthy dialogue above because this is the message I’m trying to convey. “In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom.””
— Buddha

It’s an unpredictable life but oh, what a rich one it always can be!

The Messages We Share – Guidance to My Family

19 Thursday Mar 2015

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9/6/14

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.”

Example: I told you recently about this already but thought I’d elaborate a bit for emphasis. I get a website from Mom’s Facebook page which is where I get some of my introductory quotes that start some of my messages to you like the one above.

So while in Boston when you were sleeping and half-asleep myself, I decided to pass the time by submitting a quote of my own. I completely forgot about it until we got home from Cooperstown. One night when I was not in the greatest of moods, I started looking for one of those “ten better reasons” why I should be in a good mood instead of the less important reason that I wasn’t. I looked at the website and lo and behold, there was my quote on the main page with my name underneath. Even more surprising there were 120+ “likes” (no dislikes) and over 80 “shares”. Bingo! Found the “better reason” and there was a seismic change to the rotation of the following days including the one right now while I’m writing this.

Not the end of the story! Underneath the quote was a simple comment from a woman with her picture and a simple “thank you” written. That touched me as much as any grand gesture I’ve been blessed to be the recipient of. By virtue of a simple kind gesture, maybe partly out of contrition or generosity, i possibly affected an anonymous soul to warrant a gesture of thanks.

I hope you know I don’t generate my messages for recognition. The most important reason is to give you guidance and recognize your personal impact on me. Another is to facilitate my intellectual recovery from my injury. An additional one is to express the wealth of kindness I feel and want to share with those closest to me and even those I casually come across. Finally there is an element of contrition after the recognition of times I previously let pass by without an offering of at least basic genuine courtesy.

Bottom line is that we say things (“how are you”, “have a good day”, “thank you”, “I love you”, etc.) so often as part of our everyday dialogue with people, we have forgotten their intent and meaning, or don’t include any feeling with them. More sadly, we just omit them from the opportunity to use them.

SO, make it a habit to take a moment and consider what you’re saying and why you’re saying it. Look into the person’s eyes while saying it so that they know you’re sincere and that their presence is recognized. You may not know anymore about them beyond that exchange but I’ll bet they will know more about you as a person and remember you longer had you done otherwise! Just thinking again.

Accepting and Working Through Challenges – Message to My Sons

16 Monday Mar 2015

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9/18/14

“To be successful you must accept all challenges that come your way. You can’t just accept the ones you like.”

Life would be so less complicated if all that we wished for flowed to us on a simple stream. All we would have to do is sit and wait for their arrivals.

No such luck nor should it be that way. Our greatest accomplishments have to be measured in some manner. Of course that has to be a study that involves a detailed reassessment of the starting point to its eventual outcome. The flawed efforts and disappointing initial results have to be factored in before recognizing the level of accomplishment.

Take this into account in the planning for your most important goals. The ship you charter towards those goals will never sail along the same route you planned. No matter how you foresee the anticipated obstacles, they present themselves differently or are either replaced with other ones.

DON’T BE FRUSTRATED OR DETERRED! This is just part of the journey and don’t just crash ahead blindly and stubbornly without thought when simple adjustments will get you to your destination quicker.

Accept this. Challenges are created by your decisions, failure to make decisions, delay in acting on decisions, or decisions made by others who by necessity (or unfortunately at times your permission) create challenges. Either way the challenges exist and it is vital that you react to them appropriately, promptly, positively, and with the commitment necessary to overcome them.

You may sometimes doubt whether you have it in you to carry on towards certain dreams because of the complexity of a problem, the effort required, and the uncertainty whether the direction you are headed is towards the proper point on the compass. DO NOT STOP other than to rest, breathe, think, get your bearings, and then keep moving.

Don’t worry about whether you have the ability. The creation of the dream was predicated by what was created in you and, fashioned by what was already within you. Where you are at is at the beginning of the discovery of what has been in you all along and what you will find in the future. Remember – “not overachievement”, just a matter of “under-discovery”!

Read the creation of challenges as set forth above again. Use what you already know about yourself to avoid their creation or overcome them. Be confident that you have within you what has yet to be uncovered to overwhelm the unexpected and associated complications. I am a man of faith when it comes to you boys so don’t let me and more importantly, yourself down.

Greatness Is No Accident – Message to My Sons

13 Friday Mar 2015

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8/18/14

“Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of intelligent effort.”

I am sometimes insulted when people assume that your accomplishments are a result of some divine intervention that somehow ignored others to justify their own lack of success. Behind the spotlight, you both have not only felt an enormous amount of passion for baseball but coupled that with an immeasurable amount of effort, dedication, commitment, drive, and sacrifice to generally satisfy your expectations to date. Of course you foresee greater improvement in the future that will mirror your drive for the goals you have laid and will lay out in front of you. Again this is not an accident but a process that has been an investment almost since you picked up a toy bat and ball and God love your ability to not only embrace it but interact with it as a part of your life and act of living under His sight.

Now here is the dilemma and turning point for both of you, especially for you J. Youth baseball is pretty much over. Your aspirations require an evolution in your approach as you move forward and it applies to all things as well as baseball. You are still young but as you are now in your teenage years, you are no longer children other than in the comfort of mom’s and my eyes and our infinite love and protection.

You argue that you are growing up so in doing so, you have to be willing to accept that you have to act accordingly because opportunities available during your youth are not endless through adulthood. I think it’s becoming apparent to Jason while visiting colleges that his future is no longer abstract open to interpretation. It is on the horizon to be welcomed by the sun rising with you, and setting with you rather than behind you.

I read another quote by Abraham Lincoln. “Some see opportunities in every obstacle, while others see obstacles in every opportunity.” Really let the quote set in because I wish I had someone like me when I was younger because there were significant events in my life that I could have used that guidance. I just took action when none was needed and did nothing when so much more should have been done. How much sooner would accomplishments have occurred but then again, I might never have met your mom and then I wouldn’t be writing this to you. We will save that concept for another day.

This is kind of long but let it really register. There are really few accidents that can’t be explained by choices we make or don’t make. I don’t envy being young and having to figure the following out because you lack context and experience: Recognize that what you want may not be what you need. Recognize that what you need is not always want you want. Make sure that those things and people in your life are able to help give you what you need and want in YOUR life and not unwilling to accept the two because of a desire to control or distract you from them.

Picture where you plan to be, stay within the boundaries of that plan and it shall be so! There are no shortcuts and you can’t streamline or delay the process. Greatness is no accident!

Enjoy your youth and I pray you stay young in heart, mind, and soul, but you will unavoidably have to act in serious accordance with your age for serious things!

Get it (you better)? Got it (hope so)? Good!

Part of Me – By Jason Dicochea 2010

11 Wednesday Mar 2015

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(Written in 8th grade about his paternal grandparents)

Part of Me

The two I never knew…

Stories and stories and stories

Of the grandparents I never knew

They passed before I was born

Yet throughout my life they have

Remained with me in different forms

——

They have held onto me like Velcro

Never letting go

They have stayed inside me guiding

Me through my troubles

They are my Guardian Angels

——

The good person within me comes from them

If only, if only, I could have met her or him

Stories and pictures and stories can only

Help me love them from afar, but

Stories will not help me know who they truly are

——

They have watched me my whole life

From above, always peering over my shoulder

Waiting for life to knock me down

So they can be here to pick me up

——

They have come down from the heavens

Only a few times

So I can see Angel faces

That look so peaceful and kind

——

Sometimes I see them walking by me

They glide with such grace

As well as the most caring look on their face

When I peer into their long-lived eyes

I hear angels sing and feel a burning in my heart…

——

A burning so deep and strong

To meet them for just one minute

To hear my grandmother’s sweet voice

To shake hands with my grandfather

Who was a better man than I’ll ever be

——

I live my life hoping to make them proud

They are the voice inside my head

Helping me to do the right thing

I feel a connection when I wear his ring

——

Stories and stories and stories

Will never bring them back

But the stories just remind me that

They are always watching over my back

The Essential Rewards Behind Kindness

07 Saturday Mar 2015

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2/19/15

“I arise full of eagerness and energy, knowing well what achievement lies ahead of me.”
— Zane Grey

I’ve written in the past that I have three major goals that I want to accomplish in the 24 hours that I’m accountable for each day. First, I want to wake up with my wife and sons safely under the same roof. Second, I want to rest assured that the same three are safely falling asleep under that same roof. Finally, I don’t go to sleep each night until I’ve formulated a goal or a plan for the next day. Generally it’s nothing extravagant and usually something so simple that they are barely negligible to others unless they knew what my personal objectives are which for the most part, I keep to myself. Oftentimes they invoke the simplest thought of reaching out in some kind and productive manner to someone whose path I come across who might take something away from such an interaction. As part of that goal, and an even greater challenge, is to openly allow someone to reach out to me and then leave that exchange with something tangible that has bettered my day. It’s usually not difficult once I eliminate the complexity of my expectations and let my soul play a larger part in the determination of what I’ve shared and thereafter, whatever I’ve received in return.

It’s best to elaborate on this topic by what I’ve recognized and have to remind myself as I begin each day. The most important thing I’ve essentially eliminated from my lexicon is the fascination with the idea of “karma”. I figure that if “bad people” continually cheat, do immoral or even criminal things to satisfy their desires, the law of averages generally catch up with them at some point and they have to answer to some authority for such practices. When that occurs, they end up paying for the consequences of their actions at a level that no amount of remorse or regret will ever fully mollify those who suffered from them. Taking liberties with words of a U2 song, I don’t like leaving things up to “karma” when I’d rather take care of those things first on my own! Lacking pacifism, I’m not one to rely on “fate” or “karma” as the great equalizers on matters that I can rectify through the exercise of my own capabilities.

Now to “karma” serving as the center point for how the accumulation of our good actions will be eventually rewarded if our expectations are not met at the outset. If that mindset is needed to fortify the quality of someone’s further benevolence, then it would be irresponsible to discourage that approach because the potential end result is still extrinsically fruitful and should be applauded.

But again removing “karma” from my thought process, I’ve adjusted my mentality following my injury because of where I began and what I had available to begin with when thinking back to those early days. I guess when stripped down to basic resources with a lot of time to appreciate them, I became much more aware of certain simple truths (at least to me) that formulated a more fluid, albeit elementary, pathway to satisfying some understandable objectives.

I was certainly thankful of what I still had left as opposed to what could have been taken from me so I feel a lot of gratitude about that along with gratitude for most people and things around me. I’m certain that’s why I became more expressive of the happiness and kindness that circled within my whole being to the point I felt I’d explode if I didn’t express it – I still feel that way if you can’t tell.

But I realized something to counter whatever rewards I used to expect in return for my actions and it is this: the kindness and happiness coupled with the actions shared are the rewards and THAT IS IT – NOTHING MORE! I do not expect or demand anything beyond that because how can I ask anything other than the peaceful communication of the wealth within my soul with my spirit, mind, and body? Anything in addition in response is just a welcome benefit or perk that I am thankful for as I reflect upon all things at the end of the day! If I share a smile, the reward is that I have a genuine reason to smile and if that’s the return, who am I to demand something that complicates the feelings behind that smile by including additional demands. I think we can agree there are fewer greater emotions and expressions than those based on genuine love for someone or something. The complexities occur as we struggle with the “how’s”, “what’s”, and “why’s”, behind what we believe we should receive in return. I guess the best advice is to never get to far away from the basic reasons behind those feelings and expressions because it’s easy to lose track of them due to our penchant for setting forth conditions on the expected return on the exchange. “True love” of anything is so wonderful because of the instantaneous and intrinsic gifts it provides! After that we essentially have to navigate through love on our own through its evolving complexities without hopefully losing its essential makeup. For me, I find it easier to recognize and add up the consistent simple gestures that come my way rather than rely on mandated grand gestures to measure the return on the affection I invested. That’s just me though since I’m easily confused these days.

As I get to the end, I would be remiss if I didn’t give a shout out to Deb since she won an unexpected (at least in her view) award in New York for Corporate Social Responsibility from an industry group, Women in Toys. Deb explained it to me and the boys what the award was about but once she said there was no money involved in the award and didn’t include us for a shout out in her acceptance speech, our interest gradually waned. Just kidding (well kind of) but it’s essentially for the non-profit and philanthropic work she does as part of her job at Mattel which is so multifaceted that the family has lost track or forgot what it all entails. But here’s the point! In talking with Deb about this particular acknowledgement of her efforts, she’s so humble about it because like I’ve alluded to above, the actual reward for the work she does is the kindness and generosity she honestly feels that are behind the actions that resulted in this award as well others before this one. I see (and she might too) the recognition she so rightfully receives are just the perks for essentially being the person she is and doing the most exquisite and correct things with the job that she has and for that my friends, she deserves applause!

I’ll end with reference to a story I mentioned before when Christian told me “Dad, I feel really good about myself… I don’t know why, I just do!” When we get to that stage for whatever organic reasons, I think we just need to enjoy it, share it without any expectations, and be thankful that for however long it lasts, we got to experience and express it! Karma, if you believe it exists, is not obligated to reward you for anything beyond that because that is a gift in itself.

Our Greatest Gifts to Share – Advice to My Boys

04 Wednesday Mar 2015

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9/4/14

“Generosity lies less in giving much than in giving at the right moment.”

I guess with the multitude of holidays and pseudo-holidays, we tend to schedule our obligatory generosity around the day of the month or time of year. I guess this fulfills our sense of duty to those we choose to reward in our circle in exchange for their rewarding us in some manner based on relation, title, and/or simple obligation that is sometimes freckled with guilt.

I’m in no way critical of the intent because certain times of the year deserve recognition and reflection and hopefully support our resolution to be kind, loving, generous, etc. I wish we would stay primarily focused on the importance of our actions and not on dollar amounts of what we give and receive.

What is important is to be thankful of what we have, who we have, and why we have, and remember those who may have less and on this planet, there are countless within that category.

Our schedules frequently are at a fever pitch requiring us to focus on where we need to be and what we need to do once we get there – got it and understand! We are sometimes consumed with where we are not and who is not in front of us – got it since this is the world we live in with expansion of the territory of our professional and social boundaries. Just help me understand how we tend to create more distance between us and those right in front of us by the attention given to the next test or email we write and the time waiting for a response in return.

Do you realize how insignificant you can make someone feel when you are so intertwined with something less significant shared through an inanimate object that they have to repeat themselves several times just to acquire your recognition. The ultimate complication occurs when the moment and something of importance related to it is forever lost. The more tragic result is that those people eventually don’t even consider you as an outlet to share things that may upgrade the quality of your life or theirs.

You may think I’m indirectly referring to myself but surprisingly I’m not. By virtue of the fact that I’m sharing this writing with you, I have found my connection with you so that you can fit me into your schedule. I see you enough that I can avoid those times that you fulfill the obligations demanded by your social media connections. I’ve found ways to satisfy my need for actual human interaction through alternative outlets beyond this household through most opportunities I encounter during my day. Hence my needs for individual communication are pretty much satisfied before you get home so that I can give you the time you need for the demands that continue from work, school, friends, girlfriend, parents, etc. It’s funny but sometimes my favorite place is simply where I am because of its lack of complication and complexity.

Look and accept this as true. One of our greatest gifts is who we are and how we decide to exchange it with those around us! I’m lucky enough to understand and appreciate the quality of each of you on a daily basis. My hope is that you take the time to open your eyes to the faces in front of you for a sufficient amount of time to appreciate, acknowledge, and respond to them so that you bestow upon them the gift of YOU! If not out of generosity, then try it out of simple courtesy.

You Can Go Far If … – Guidance For My Children

01 Sunday Mar 2015

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“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.”

Just a reinforcement of what I’ve been saying all along. Have high expectations based on what you believe you can do and not be limited by how others measure you. You are at the age of a great deal of self-discovery and you’ll find that your present expectations can and will be expanded. Frankly I’m jealous that you are in this stage of your mental, physical, emotional, and philosophical expansion. So much that you are destined to find has barely been given birth and it’s growth has yet to occur so keep your heart, soul, and all of your senses sharpened for the necessary awareness and development. How exciting is that thought!

With that in mind, be cautious of those who barely know you or have not invested the time to assess your depth when they try to alter you. As you are still becoming familiar with your own make-up, it is difficult to justify their observations and recommended adjustments when the foundation of their information is undoubtedly flawed at the outset. This is where I need to reemphasize that you need to trust those who have known you the longest and/or shared the most with you since they have a different set of eyes to work from and may see things well outside your comprehension at specific moments when you are dealing with crises of the heart, soul, mind, indecision, despair, or self-doubt. Just listen when the natural reaction is to defend your situation because it can be changed for the better and sooner.

Last thought. There will be a multitude of people who will try to tell you what, when, and how to do things. Usually this will be based on how they have previously done things, or overcompensating for not being able to do or understand how you have done or do the things that have made you successful to date. DISREGARD UNTIL you have honestly conducted your own personal inventory, evaluation, assessment, and thereafter performed the necessary reconfiguration. Then you can weigh the value of other’s input and my guess is that the important information provided will not be much different than what you’ve learned about the nature, quality, and ability, concerning how you intend to approach your future performance. You ultimately will define the destination of your quests, both foreseeable and yet to be discovered.