Monthly Archives: June 2015

Doing What’s Never Been Done – Final Thought of 2015 Redondo Baseball Champions

29 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life, Gratitude, Reflection

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6/12/15

“If you hear a voice within you say, “you cannot paint”, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gough

Boys think of this quote while in your youth so that you can carry it into adulthood.  In doing so, hopefully you will act upon it when you’re on the fence facing a choice that may positively influence your life and uncertainty gives you pause to venture ahead with the final decision.  Don’t allow limitations to be put in place by yourself without an attempt, or as a result of others telling you what can’t be done when there is no justifiable reason to at least try; and when you choose to explore the unknown, then “try your ass off” because if you’ve ventured beyond self-doubt, then nothing less should be acceptable!

So now here you are as high school baseball champions in a city that has never been privy to experiencing one before and you have to wonder after all this time about the percentage of people, alive and no longer on this earth, who truly believed when and if this could have been achieved with optimism dwindling each year it didn’t happen.  Look no farther than the picture of the players on that very first Redondo high team and spend a moment thinking of those boys who grew to men and having children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc., with all those generations starting each season with the hope that the next team(s) would bring home that title that proved so elusive for the 99 years afterwards, ending up no closer than a couple semifinal appearances (including the one last year).

It’s natural that when some things have never been done after a considerable amount of time, expectations consequently are redesigned by those of the growing number of casual spectators with measures of success being redefined after repeatedly falling short of the ultimate prize.  But hears the part where those rules don’t apply regardless of the degree of devotion that fans of the team, including parents, possess.  It’s the players who carry the standards of faith and devotion to what they believe they can accomplish and in an odd way, what they feel is specifically reserved for themselves no matter how the odds, and sometimes mere chance, are stacked up against what actually occurs.

We as parents have supported you boys throughout this year but we will never have a precise understanding of the fellowship that was forged between you boys and the personal tests you had to pass that resulted in the run to this championship and you don’t know how good I am with that – that’s your property. We had to honor our role as parents and temper our belief in our sons and the team with the possibility we might have to be there in a different capacity should you have fallen just short of YOUR dream and I sincerely thank you for never having to exercise that responsibility.

I’m unashamedly envious of the emotions that have been generated and experienced by you young men since Saturday and I’m fairly certain they will be more greatly appreciated over time and may look different the farther as the years go by. I would recommend that you take the time to embrace and absorb each feeling because you are one of only a select few that get to experience it.  In my own personal and very private way, I’m still processing what an important chapter has been written in my life from your achievement because of my intangible relationship with both of you starting from the literal birth of Jason and the figurative one with Cole that began on the minor division Dodgers.  I’m so glad I was alive to see it after some really close calls that almost robbed me of the opportunity and I can only thank you for “playing as if it were my last game” in the remote chance it was the last one I’d remember given this “brain thing.”

So let me draw to a close with this thought.  There was some debate at the beginning of this season whether this potentially was the best baseball team in the 100 year history of Redondo High.  When the final out was recorded on Saturday with the undisputed title of CIF Champions being bestowed on the 2015 team, I think that any arguments disputing who might have been better has been put to rest since no one from this community, alive or not, has accomplished it.  As I’ve said before, “greatness is no accident”, and where you sit today, you can be satisfied that greatness has been achieved!

Last quote. “If you’ve got nothing to dance about, find a reason to sing.” — Melody Carstairs.  Since Saturday and for the remainder of your life and carrying on historically, you will always be able to look at this accomplishment and both dance and sing.  I’m humbled by the gratitude I owe you boys and I’ve been doing the same in private so as not to embarrass myself.

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The Dreams Waiting To Be Fulfilled – Wishes For My Sons

24 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by in Hope, Looking forward

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Photo contributed by Marlena Groomer

6/22/15 (Happy Birthday Dad)

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it.  The time will pass anyway.” Earl Nightingale

The other thing is don’t give up on that dream because it takes too much effort, time, sacrifice, or it becomes too confusing.  It may not make sense until the dream is actually realized but the scope of who you are, and maybe never envisioned yourself being, is how you respond to the most difficult obstacles on the journey to any dreams fulfillment.  Oh and if there weren’t any struggles along the way, you may want to revisit the substance of that dream, it’s origin, and possibly how “ordinary” it actually may have been compared to the average aspirations of so many others.  I’m not saying there’s no value to those minor accomplishments that we achieve because everything that is performed for our betterment should be experienced with joy and and an equal sense of pride because it’s part of the act of living and should never be overlooked, downplayed, or diminished.  Just make sure that upon quiet reflection, the self-satisfaction is proportional to the quality of the achievement and not overinflated for elements of drama, vanity, ego, or delusion.

I’m not sure that “suffering” is the proper term for what we experience during those times when adversity really taxes the internal chemistry of self-confidence and optimism that generally reinforces our plans to obtain the grander goals we envision.  Maybe it’s more a matter of “enduring” that particular period of time but I guess the terminology is subjective as to how we interpret that experience but remember your character will be measured by the demonstration of your responses to the conditions that challenge us.  I think it’s important to understand and accept that adversity, by its nature, is meant to be difficult, deflating, and generally an exhaustive challenge to our resources and may sometimes feel like a cannibalization of the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical assets that we have stored for these occasions.

So when things aren’t working out or falling into place at the moment, don’t get frustrated with yourself because of resulting feelings of failure nor should you get disappointed with how you interpret your life at that moment or for that matter, life in general, just because things haven’t worked out so far.  That just means that what you’re working towards just hasn’t happened YET and any other mindset is a defeatist and a counter-productive attitude opening the door to excuses, victimization, and martyrdom, and as Dico’s, you know how much tolerance for that is allowed!

So read the the following from the author of “Tom Sawyers Cabin” and I pray that it registers and makes the most logical sense.  “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe.  This is along the lines of my previous discussion with Jason where I shared my outlook that with each new day ahead of us, there is still the potential that it could turn out to be the best day of our life regardless of what it actually delivers and from that, hope and optimism should continue to be fed.  And so with dreams, they truly never fade until we give up on them because we surrender to the obstacles and difficulties that make them seem no longer obtainable.

Please, please, don’t let that happen!  Oftentimes you’ve come too far to give up on what you think is the final end of a story when it’s only the conclusion of another chapter with the next one waiting to be written.  Just summon a deeper faith in yourself and stay hopeful about life in all of it’s overall beauty, no matter how it temporarily presents itself, because overwhelmingly more often than not that’s all it is – temporary.  Just keep trying along with working harder, better, and maybe a bit differently if needed (why pound your head against the same wall?) because if you seek to uncover whatever you are looking for, it just might find you first!

Just remember that the chances for our best dreams to evolve towards fruition never disappear as long as we continue to cross even the most unstable bridges that might cause those less committed to their destinations to turn back because of what they can’t see yet or even worse, because of what others have told them can’t be done.  From the likely to even the most remote chances that any of our dreams can come true will always stay alive if we just avoid succumbing to products of what is only passing despair.  It makes sense that we are better served by maintaining an underlying basis of hope in the thought that given enough time, effort, a little assistance when stubborn pride has failed (okay that applies to me), and maybe a little serendipity, what we thought was so far away was just out of view and on the verge of introduction into our lives.

So I will end with a quote that I hope you can incorporate into the better part of your character because first it makes sense and second, what’s the purpose of thinking otherwise?  “A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” – Oscar Wilde.  If that should be our “punishment” for the hope and optimism we strive to uphold as we proceed towards our dreams, then let us all be held accountable for such efforts because the dawn of what we envision is right there awaiting our discovery!

Making a “Great Life” – Thoughts to My Boys

16 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by in Confessional, Looking forward, Reflection

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10/9/14

“Be willing to have it so.  Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”

I really view those who choose to blame their lack of achievement or success on their surroundings, circumstances, or others as extremely disheartening.  As I’ve said before, I do not view fate or luck as having an overwhelming impact on the results in our lives.

Let me begin with this genuine assessment of my 52 years on this planet.  I have had a GREAT life!  Has every day been great?  Of course not nor were they supposed to be!  Have I always lived or decided well?  Nope!  Has everything gone just the way I dreamt or hoped it would be?  Maybe I thought it would when I was younger but now I know that my actions or lack of actions played a big part in that – still I’ve achieved a lot.  So, would I change anything? NOT REALLY! Why? First, my life is a product of my creation so I own it! Second, I can’t!

I will point out a few of the significant events in my life that have had the biggest impact.  Losing my best friend David to a car accident when I was 15; losing my parents in a way through the buildup to their divorce and then for good when they died in the same year; and, of course my relationship with my first girlfriend and our eventual breakup (sorry Deb but it was a big deal at the time).

I don’t view any of these as obstacles because although unique in their timing, sequence, and description, they are generally similar and maybe less in severity to what others encounter.  They were just challenges that were personal to my own existence which had to be addressed, accepted, and overcome.

Certainly they affected me emotionally when they happened and at least with David and my parents, I’m still left with their loss.  However with respect to Dave, I felt a measure of comfort when I won the first scholarship set up in his name for our baseball team and through Jason who carries his middle name.  Regarding Mom and Dad, I won’t say it was easy regarding what happened between them, and to them, and I probably didn’t grieve correctly for awhile after their passing but who does?  In looking back, I know they loved me, gave me all that was available to them, and I love them to this day for what they gave and taught me through their lives and even up to their deaths (courage, strength, and nobility).  Now I share so much about them with my sons, and see so much of my parents in them though they never met.  Most importantly, I think I’ve accomplished enough in the past (despite some shortcomings) and even more so now to honor their names and make them proud of who I am – I probably should have done more while they we’re here but I’m guessing they’re satisfied with the results as they look over me and my family.

Oh heck, I just remembered that the 20th anniversary of mom’s loss is coming up tomorrow but I’ll greet that day with a smile since good memories are stored and she wouldn’t have it any other way.  Sorry, it just occurred to me!

With respect to my ex-girlfriend, she was a learning part of my past as first loves are.  Despite the best parts of myself that I learned, two of MY decisions had unfortunate consequences.  First, she was a part of my choice to delay and ultimately forego going to USC leading to a more lengthy and formidable journey towards becoming a lawyer.  Guess I thought I had all the time in the world!  Second, when we decided to take our first lengthy break, it probably should have been our only one since the final one three years later was for the same reasons but hurt 10 times worse.  I guess I thought I had all the time in the world!

It’s somewhat surprising that my injury last year really doesn’t strike me as one of the worst parts of my life even though it surely started out that way.  I would imagine that it’s probably one of the worst moments of Deb’s life and probably the boys.  I guess it’s because I remember little about the initial events and generally recall only when I started fighting whether with the doctors or unfortunately Deb.  However once I accepted the challenge, I fought for myself to the point I could eventually fight for you and by your side during your most difficult missteps and struggles.  It has been difficult to support the battles you’ve chosen in spite of yourself but I’ll be there to help you up when you fall since most of those battles unfortunately are disabling and hopefully only temporarily.  All I know is this year truly revealed the depth of the best part of my makeup, character, perseverance, and courage.  By almost losing my life, I rediscovered and saved it and in some ways, the lives closest to me.

Now getting to the point!  You older boys are starting to (or hopefully are) realize that you don’t have all the time in the world.  Sitting with your “smartphone” and waiting for things to happen isn’t very “smart”.  You may have already had a taste of the following:  Opportunities that are presented to you if not appreciated and acted upon eventually pass and introduce themselves to someone else.  Dreams you imagined for yourself, if left unattended, are picked up up by others and become the foundation of their dreams.  When you have a choice and make either the obvious wrong choice or no choice, your goals will move farther away leaving the journey susceptible to further distractions, interruptions, and at a tragic maximum, destruction.  I will repeat it again:  You are in the “make it happen” stage of your lives because only you have the tools to achieve it.  We all are presented with distractions but never should they be permitted to undermine the opportunities, dreams, and goals that will soon be the centerpiece of the “great life” that is your birthright.

So ultimately, your life is a product of your creation and the decisions you make will one day be on display and dissection when you look back when you are 52 – what will you see?  Things will be presented to you outside of your control but “when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”  It’s those times when you begin to understand the greatness that circles within you.  For now, act without hesitation so the things that have the best chance of turning out great for you happen right now because “greatness is no accident”.

The Road to the CIF Championship – Messages to Jason, Cole, and Brady

11 Thursday Jun 2015

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life

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6/1/15 (Before Bishop Amat CIF Semi-Final)

“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.” – — A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

A year ago a dream began that will soon play out into a reality where all uncertainty will disappear and abstract visions of what was dreamt of, will be given definition.  I go back to the images stored in my memory of Cane, Cassius, and Novak, walking out of the dugout at Bishop Amat with the look of their spirits temporarily crushed and tears unashamedly pooling in their eyes knowing that the semis was their last chance of making it to CIF finals, even if that journey was somewhat unexpected.  Then there are two faces that are more personal which have been repeated in my mind since Friday.  It’s the looks on Brady’s and Cole’s faces last year with the same temporary dejection after being so close and wondering if in their senior year, a similar opportunity would present itself.  And in large part by pure will of force and determination of those two seniors, it has, and you have no understanding of how grateful and relieved I am that those guys are getting this second chance.

I don’t want to drag this on (but I probably will) and with all the love in the world I have for Jason, I really want the Sea Hawks to reach the finals for Cole and Brady because as seniors, “all the time in the world” is about to run out.  I want this for all the seniors but as starters of that group and one of the South Redondo boys, Brady and Cole have that special spot in my heart going back to youth baseball.  Moreover I could not be a bigger fan because of the qualities that are part of the character of the young men they’ve grown up to be.

I’m also proud of those boys because a year ago, they did not have much of an idea if and where they would play college baseball and after a roller coaster journey, there is now more clarity that has emerged from that uncertainty.  Even though others may get more publicity, the foundation for this latest run through CIF belongs to Cole and Brady if you ascribe to the theory by Einstein that “not all things that are counted, count and not all things that count can be counted”.

Brady’s first hit to damage the confidence of Palm Deserts starter, the three brilliant at-bats leading to walks by Cole to set up scoring opportunities, and the stellar defense throughout the playoffs are the reason that this dream continues.  I’m not sure how many people notice and it probably takes some familiarity with both boys but their is a perfect balance of focus, determination, and drive for one specific purpose on their faces and in how hard they’re playing and it’s the “perfect” approach to an imperfect sport ruled by multifactorial participants and situations.

Understand I rarely pray for divine intervention for basic human events where God’s focus may be on more important global problems but I’ll tell you this right now.  I have asked The Lord on multiple occasions that, if he can afford the generosity, have Cole and Brady be rewarded for their devotion to this team and their teammates with a victory.  This may be selfish and single-minded but if “deserving” has anything to do with anything, then I’m not asking Him for too much.  Along those same lines, I also pray that in whatever capacity J plays, that he can stride beyond the boundaries of the pain in his back and hopefully contribute something that helps the team and even more miraculously, be available to throw an inning or two if needed because he has the experience and boy, we might need him.   However as a junior along with the other underclassmen, my wishes for him evolve around my primary hope for Cole and Brady not only because of what they’ve done for this team, but what they’ve meant.

So I’ll end with this quote and I’ll continue with my silent prayers afterwards. “Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.”— Joy Page.  May it all culminate in how you envisioned it finishing this season. God bless.

——-

6/5/15 (Before Championship Game)

Boys, I sent this to you last year before the game against Bishop Amat. The message captures my same thoughts for tomorrow.
6/3/14

“It is absurd to refer to today as “do or die” or “life and death” since death is too tragic and final to equate to a game!  This is about life at its most extreme beauty.  You guys get to experience so many of the emotional, mental, and physical complexities of actively living in such a brief time frame that is not frequently encountered.  I equate it to the birth of my sons because it involved so much preparation, anticipation, and a juggernaut of feelings when they were born. In a way, this is a moment when a new part of you is born since you will discover so much about yourselves that will have an impact on your destiny and growth into men.

Embrace today and the challenge before you. This is a time to catapult yourself into the act of truly being alive and don’t be intimidated by its intensity.  You are surrounded by your teammates who as your brothers will be there if you falter and you will do so in return towards your shared goal.  Identify what is in you, process the situation, and put everything you have and maybe more than you thought you had on the field.

Cole (and Brady) I’ve known you since Jason started organized baseball and I have faith that you were meant to be difference makers in the games you both play.  I am in awe of all of you and I am lucky to have the privilege of watching you not only have this moment, but play a pivotal role in its outcome.  You are blessed and I thank God for this part of living you get to enjoy! Good skill and good luck!”

——

6/6/15

I’m not sure if this thought has crossed anyone’s minds as you enter today’s game but let me throw this out there.  J and Cole, you are part of a very select and elite group of the Redondo athletic community.  First you (along with Marco & Hannif) were, as far as anyone could recall, part of the only South Redondo little league (which no longer exists) team to reach the district finals.  That was a fairly significant accomplishment since the league had been in existence for over 50 years and you got there with a team that few thought had the talent to accomplish it and as the two of the major drivers behind that run, this was a significant achievement.

4 years later you now are on a team that has done something that no other Sea Hawk team has accomplished in the 100 years of its existence by reaching the CIF finals and the common denominator between that little league and the present high school team?  J and Cole together!  Matt and Marco too, but you were part of the team last year that reached the semifinals for the first time in almost three decades so you share an exclusive bond that involves two first-time achievements in Redondo sports history.

I’ve said before that greatness is no accident so put forth a great effort with “Dico” determination and intensity so that great performances, win or lose, are the memories that are taken away from this game.  It’s not “life or death” so don’t put that kind of pressure on yourselves because it’s counter-productive and disengages you from what this truly is about and it’s this:  you have one of the best opportunities of your young lives that you get to be a participant of that only a few players each year get to experience and encounter.

J, the back is nothing new and I know you’ll work through the pain.  Boys, remember what I said about hope and faith that no matter what happens in the past, each new day has the potential to turn out to be the best day of your life depending on the “crap” you decide to let go that’s happened, and the effort you put into that new day.  Why shouldn’t today turn out to be that day, or at least in the top 5.  Just one great swing or play at the right moment when it’s needed is all it will take!

My prayers were answered about you guys reaching the finals so I don’t want to be impudent and bother God again.  However last night I did reach out to my other higher powers to watch over my biological and adopted sons.  I asked my Mom and Dad to watch over you two and fill you with the love I know they have for you and empower you with all the mental and physical strength that you were blessed with at birth, through the generations of your family whose names you carry, and all that you have discovered and built on your own leading to today.

Good skill and luck!  I love you both (and Brady) and I think you know it reaches well beyond the baseball field and is absolute.

Plans For New Days – Message to My Family

05 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by in Finding Happiness

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1/5/15

“Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.  Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets.  Life’s too short to be anything but happy.”

— Unknown

I don’t think I have to elaborate much beyond the contents of the quotation above.  However I will include something I wrote awhile back.

“Find the best in you, maintain it for as long as you are able, channel it towards the best available to you, and discover that which was once beyond your horizon.  It’s funny (maybe not so funny) but since my injury, I have felt that way more frequently and I feel sometimes guilty for the amount of undefinable happiness I feel. I do see more than what I should have imagined before and though I may share it in odd ways, at least I share and rest assured it is genuine.  That’s the bottom line I guess.  Find the path to feel the best about yourself, embrace and cherish it, use it, share it, and then you’ll feel good just about almost everything large and small.  We can only give to others based on what we reserve and allow to give to ourselves.”

With all that in mind and after you find that particular baseline, don’t hesitate, don’t think so much, and do it all to the best of your capabilities and with all at your disposal at the time, because the return on your investment will be abundantly in your favor and those around you.  Have a good day(s).