Being Extraordinary – Thoughts To My Family

29 Tuesday Mar 2016

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Happiness, Inspiration, kindness, Motivation, Sharing

3/29/16

“God must have loved ordinary people, because he made so many of us… But everyday, ordinary people do extraordinary things!” – Jim Valvano.

And don’t think “extraordinary” has to be profoundly “great” because it can be something beautifully simple by what you accomplish each day, how you change your life for the better by doing it, whose lives you touch (even unknowingly) in the process, and who finds some hope and inspiration from what each thing you end up doing. It really doesn’t take as much as you think so long as you do at least something as good equal to, or even better, than the day before! Just don’t think about it so much because what we may view as the simplistic and seemingly “ordinary” acts or gestures, consistently done, can generate the most “extraordinary” rewards in the end. God, I love Coach V!

What’s There To Fear? – Thoughts To My Family

27 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Hope, Kindness, Looking forward, Reflection

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(Jason At The Top Of Malibu, With Dreams As Far As His Eyes Can See – Photo Contributed By Brenan Knott)

SHARING A FAVORITE EXCERPT WITH FULL VERSION TO FOLLOW – WISHING ALL A HAPPY EASTER!!!

2/20/16

“When you learn to harness the power of your fears, it can take you places beyond your wildest dreams.” – Jimmy Lovine

…So as I sit here thinking about this and how it relates to my own personality and maybe those of others, I sense something that I have to continue to remind myself. Fear is a natural consequence of any basic endeavor, especially those that give rise to spectacular rewards that aren’t always obtained at the first, second, or subsequent multiple attempts thereafter. And with every failure, there is the potential that the fear will grow so disabling that it closes down our capacity to see beyond it, and/or we act to counter it by not only running from it, but racing unknowingly towards that which can betray our mental, emotional, and physical sanctuaries. It just happens but in thinking about what my Dad used to tell me about his service as a Marine in Korea and what someone shared with me some time ago, it probably doesn’t have to.

Think of this for a moment: With every dream, their generally exists elements of fear about whether it can come true, whether we have it in ourselves to accomplish it, and whether it’s deserved once it happens (yes I’m speaking for myself). But someone told me that fear will be present in some manifestation and it’s not as important to understand its primeval or complex causes, or to even ignore it’s presence, but to become somewhat “neutral” to its existence as we attempt to establish our footholds on the ground where all of our journeys need to begin.

Upon quiet introspection about that thought, I came across a quote by Winston Churchill which I found meaningful for purposes of this topic: “Your greatest fears are created by your imagination. Don’t give in to them.”

A reasonable and honest assessment through life’s occurrences has given me a better understanding that fear has no specific personality, intention, voice, agenda, or power when it’s isolated down to its fundamental and figurative makeup. Therefore its elements and other related forces are often nothing more than what we create, invent, interpret, or assign to them in our minds and thereafter, maximizing it so that it’s no longer manageable. In a sense from that point forward, we have given fear an immortality that surrounds our ability to generate any sensible freedom in how we act and react while in search for a greater glory of a life to be fulfilled and shared among those who we are so fortunate enough to affect in some productive manner. Just rereading the foregoing leaves me somber in thinking about how many times I’ve cheated myself by creating scenarios that really never existed, at least to the extent I allowed them to restrict me.

So what has all the foregoing reflection revealed? To me it’s best summed up by the following quote with a little elaboration: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – James Neil Hollingworth.

I accept that my mind is not powerful enough to completely exercise fear from it, even though I essentially have created most of its attributes. What I have to remind myself is that opting for inactivity due to the remote possibility of negative consequences or results is so unnecessarily foolhardy and fruitless. A better approach seems to weigh the value and importance of what will likely be obtained or achieved by consistently performing the simplest acts to challenge the perception of fear, take that action, and see what ultimately occurs. I’ve found that the worst scenarios I envisioned about what I might lose rarely come to fruition, merely by making some effort beyond the fear I should never have allowed to restrain me. And more importantly I discover that what I gain, even the unanticipated, generally adds something more valuable to what I need to know about myself and ultimately my life.

It seems that we owe not only a duty to ourselves, but also those around us, to neutralize the implausible uncertainties associated with something far less than what it truly is, and invest in the exploration of that which can truly BE. We can’t be satisfied with never uncovering as much of the majesty rightfully reserved for us just because we become a hostage to fears that are unnecessarily magnified through doubt and insecurity.

I’ll leave you with the following thoughts even though they’re probably directed more towards myself but likely useful to others nonetheless. Remember to speak kindly to yourselves at the advent of each day with the mindset that acting towards what you want and hope for gives you more power than what you fear. Always be reminded that in essence, fear is just a elaborate facade that can betray and undermine all that we are blessed with to love and embrace in all the days we are afforded, regardless of how some of them ultimately unravel or have unfolded in the past. I truly believe that there are so many good and positive things which have the best opportunity to reveal themselves by simply channeling our thoughts and actions in their direction while continually exercising a durable faith in ourselves no matter how that belief is tested which, it undoubtedly will be depending on the importance of what is at stake. And maybe, just maybe, by accepting that those tests await us, we can minimize or “neutralize” those fears that may otherwise exploit our perceived inadequacies.

So as I sit here watching the sun slowly work its way behind the water, I’m already contemplating what may be revealed to me after it reappears and what I will do upon their presentation. I have choices within my control that will consequently reveal what I can gain from each new day or alternatively, what I’ll sadly never uncover, and those choices are thus: how I think of and for myself, how I see myself participating in the life I’ve been afforded, what action I will take based on the best thoughts I can generate, and most importantly, committing myself to continually offering my best towards what I see for myself even when I feel less than my best or when the best results have not yet occurred according to my timetable or my satisfaction.

…I’m convinced there is absolutely so much to gain by living with a sense of optimism with the simplest belief that what we envision is obtainable, even though we may not have perfected the manner of its exact fulfillment. But here’s a final quote that crosses my mind when I find myself wavering under the burden which sometimes tests my faith in the quality of how I wish to exist: “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.” – Amelia Earhart. I think the greatest tragedy in life is not the lack of success in light of our efforts but rather, never learning what could have been ours had we just overcome the fear of failure and acted in the face of it since when adequately broken down, how real is it anyways if it’s only a product of our creation? Just thinking.

Trust Me, Everything Does Work Out For The Best! – A Parent’s Belief

22 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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(Before game time at Angel Stadium – Turned out to be one of the best days of Jason’s young life)

5/10/15

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”
— Jawaharlal Nehru

There is no justification to not slow down when we have either lost the ability to communicate with our soul or control it’s elaborations. The thoughts that instinctively and impulsively arise in our head in response to even the most trivial situations do not always accurately present themselves to our soul so that they can be precisely recorded, evaluated, and appreciated. As a result, our responses and reactions may not be in accordance with the circumstances that may be viewed as catastrophic storms when really, they are only ripples in the water when measured from a larger spectrum.

So I had what I hope was a meaningful conversation with Jason yesterday from what was a rare occasion when it was just the two of us and I’m pretty sure I had most of his attention. It involved different topics but there were some underlying points I wanted to get across that I hoped he would carry with him regarding whatever lasting influence I potentially have had on him, separating myself from others he has and may come across. There is more background to this conversation but that’s between him and I, and it’s part of a story that only adds color, not substance to what I’m authoring here.

Basically, I wanted to remind him that no matter how he measures his remote and recent past, so far he has had a GREAT life and accomplished so much in the short 17 years of his life. From whatever vantage point he views it from, all that really has mattered of his own creation has generally counted for something subjectively remarkable and amounted to a wonderful life if measured objectively. And it’s not because how it stacks up against anyone else’s life – it’s just because what it IS and no temporary, seemingly, dramatic setback(s) can change that perception when he steps back and silently evaluates it, giving everything it’s due accord.

Next I wanted him to view the rest of his life with a consistent amount of optimism because in the end, there is always the potential, until our dying day, that EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT! I assign responsibility to my view in this regard due to the fact that I was raised on Disney movies (Pollyanna), musicals (The Sound of Music), old message movies (Penny Serenade – Deb remember?), fairy tales, etc., by my Mom, Aunt Irma, uncle Sam, and others while growing up where no matter how tragic the story progressed, a happy ending awaited and the characters, including sometimes the villains, learned that there was a better life ahead of them than what happened behind them. I told Jason that it was probably that mindset that kept me believing that things weren’t always going to be as unfortunate growing up despite my parents painful divorce, anguishing as I watched my mom raise four children primarily on her own with marginal financial resources, and then the results of my choices that could not be altered. But in the end I said, things did work out because I believed they would and could if I made the choices to do the things that optimized the hope that was instilled in me that EVERYTHING WOULD WORK OUT and as illustrated by the mere fact I was sitting with my oldest son at that moment, they did!

Along that vein, I wanted to impress one of the most important bits of advice that I could give him for any future happiness he will achieve, coupled with the optimism I personally carry. Part of it is the recognition that there are tragic events and moments in this world that way too many people trumpet and there is the temptation to dwell on and suffer with them while magnifying our own but here’s where the trigger must be pulled to generate the power we need to escape and be free from them. We just have to make a concerted effort to figuratively separate ourselves from them to a plausible degree and let some of them go! It’s not about ignoring or failing to care about them anymore because that’s technically inhuman. It’s more about acknowledging that although they exist, we exercise the choice to not carry them from where they should remain so that they don’t continually infiltrate the dynamics of the future to where it’s no longer completely and positively defined by us. It’s important that he understand that what is meant to be part of him was not designed to weigh him down and any independence and freedom can only occur when he releases, or at least can marginalize, the negative and pessimistic components of those parts along with the influence of those elements that perpetuate them!

So finally here’s the more basic and generic message I wanted him to live with and by. Until his final moment ends, the tomorrows of his life carry the potential to turn out to be the best days of them all, and it matters not whether it does or doesn’t turn out that way! Importantly, what he does or does not do will have an incremental impact on the chances of them occurring and if he proceeds with “optimism” as I suggest, then he will likely avoid the indecision to do things that ultimately just might work out a lot better for him had he done otherwise. Moreover he will start to disregard relying on the easy justification of doing nothing based on the mindset that “nothing will probably come of it”, “there’s not much of a point”, or “it probably won’t matter”, because the way I see it, everything CAN MATTER, since I believe EVERYTHING WORKS OUT one way or another if we just nudge, or downright shove, things along in the right direction! Oh and when things aren’t going so well at the time, that just means that there is a greater margin for improvement and potential that the next day will feel like ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF HIS LIFE just by the nature of comparison. At a minimum, it will likely turn out a hell of a lot better than the one before if he releases and let’s go of what did or didn’t happen because then, there will exist a fresh potential and perspective for successful and wonderful new days.

Just for the record, I’m sure I didn’t articulate this message as clearly yesterday in my conversation since you only have so much of a teenagers attention. In addition, there’s always the influence of the emotional particles that course though such discussions but here is a recordation of the elements of what I was trying to get across for Jason, Christian, and Cole to absorb for their eternity, and to hold me accountable for the duration of mine should I see more negative than positive in my life.

All I want is for my boys is that they never be so hard on themselves that they forget that the vast majority of their life, from this moment and well beyond, has the potential to be authentically magical predicated on the hope and optimism that they need to carry with them and then acting according with that belief. Anything less is an unnecessary exercise that detracts from the following tenet: EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST, EVEN WHEN IT MAY SEEM LIKE THE WORST, BECAUSE EACH NEW DAY HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE THE BEST DAY OF THEIR LIFES that will be “full of beauty, charm, and adventure” if they hold onto and continue to move forward in those lives with an abundance of hope and and a foundation of optimism.

And at the end of each day I ask them to do the following because with clarity, they will find their sanctuary so that happiness will never be fully displaced: “You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head, so be kind to yourself.”

Capturing The Moment – Message To My Son

20 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by jdicochea in Baseball Equals Life, Gratitude

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Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, Motivation

(Message to Jason before Redondo High School baseball team played at Angel Stadium and his first time playing on a MLB pro field)

3/19/16

I know you won’t take today for granted and that you will connect with the higher power looking over you in gratitude for this opportunity which in fact, is something you have earned with your commitment, dedication, and contributions to this game and the Redondo High School Baseball program during your high school career.

Don’t be overwhelmed by being within the environment of Angel Stadium because in the end, it’s just a baseball field with the same basic dimensions of others you’ve played in the past which are too numerous to count. Still take a moment to connect with the universe and empyreans while at shortstop or at the plate and just let all the surrounding forces permeate your being with joy, harmony, and happiness, for you are blessed to be there on this day. Be at peace and play extraordinarily as you have always strived to do and be Jason F’ing Dicochea because that’s how I raised you to be and have shaped your destiny as a “Dico” to be here. Good luck and skill as you play today!

So proud and I love you son.

Dad

Postscript: On the first pitch of the game leading off for Redondo, Jason hit a triple to the wall and later scored the first run of the came. He later added a double and played strong defense at shortstop as Redondo won 3-2 to remain undefeated. A moment not wasted.

Just In Case The Next Day Never Comes -Thoughts To My Family

14 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by jdicochea in Confessional, Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Inspiration, Life, Peace, Sharing

(Photo contributed by Marlena Groomer)

4/1/15 (written six days before my next series of seizures)

This is an excerpt from a post published originally in October, 2015. It carries particular meaning as I am scheduled to undergo an appendectomy tomorrow for a ruptured appendix that was untreated for seven days shortly after this posting until I finally went to the the hospital where it was discovered. Fortunately, the rupture walled itself off avoiding the potential fatal consequences from sepsis and because of various issues, it is only now that surgery can be performed. In rereading this post in light of my impending abdominal surgery, my particular outlook and philosophy described below remains generally intact. Thank you for letting me share. Joe

I was having a lengthy discussion with a friend. During that conversation, she wanted my general thoughts about life, death, and life after death, for what was probably comfort and perspective during a time where her father was struggling with his health. I think she’s grown to respect my opinion after my accident from what was discovered and appreciated along the way. And then she asked the obvious question: Did I fear death? Without much hesitation and with conviction, I said “no” and it wasn’t because of bravado but because I’ve had an abundance of time to think about it.

I guess it’s natural to fear death and it makes sense because we have little control when and how it will occur. Moreover, regardless of the theological lessons we’ve been taught about the heavenly existence that awaits us and the strength of our faith in those beliefs, only after the final beats of our heart will we know if those expectations will be fulfilled. However in light of those uncertainties, there are a few things that have altered my former approach to death over the last year.

I really don’t fear death now but It’s a demon I’m aware of so I keep it close so that I can benefit from its presence. It keeps me driven in how I approach each day and the steps I take in managing those 1,440 minutes afforded to me.

One essential reality I have to factor in is my age since I’m in the last half century of my life although, I’m not sure if I really want to live to 100. Second my parents died at 57 and 60 so those facts certainly enter into the equation. Most importantly my little skirmish that challenged the notion of my “life expectancy” a little over a year ago finalized my need to modify my previous protocols. I know – it’s about time but we all have our own schedules!

I am kind of concerned about the manner of my death but only because of how much pain I’ll have to endure and for how long, and who will be there to suffer for me while I deal with it – trust me I’ll do my best when you guys are around and I did a pretty good job hiding how painful certain days were over the last year. You know I was with my parents when they passed and frankly, it wasn’t like a peaceful scene as frequently depicted in movies. Some people fear dying “alone” but I’ve never expected or planned on anyone going with me, you know? I’m not even sure I want you guys being present in those final moments since I might make a spectacle of myself. Frankly I’d be fine with just the kindness of a nurse holding my hand as I drift away. If it’s true that we go to a better place, I’m sure I’ll find somebody with a cell phone and send a group text to let everyone know I’m okay since it’s probably the easiest way to get ahold of you three, ha, ha (kind of).

A seed was planted that gave me somewhat of a goal to try to get my “shit” together in about a year and I think I took care of quite a bit of that well before that deadline along with other personal objectives that were essentially fulfilled solely by my own personal fortitude and conviction. What interestingly occurred was that by where I took myself, my energy was increasingly directed at helping you try to get or keep YOUR own “shit” together and that along with helping you strive towards your greatest goals has been my driving force and purpose! I think I’m in a good enough place to take care of what I still need and have plenty left over to incorporate you guys into my plans.

… I’ve continued to strive to provide you all with guidance and insight. I think just by standing and looking back over this recent body of work, enough has trickled through to tell me I’ve done the best I could to leave it confidently in your hands should I ever lose in the next battle with mortality. I’m stopped in my tracks when I think about the legacy I would have left behind had I not made it past 2013 compared to the legacy I think I’ve created leading through 2015 and hopefully beyond. I’m so f’ing lucky to have gotten that chance along with my own personal and individual makeup to know what to do with it!

I think back to what my cousin Marcy told me awhile back (and it’s in no way to fuel my ego) after finding out what happened to me and what I chose to do with it. Paraphrasing her words she left me with this: “Cousin, I am so proud and happy to be related to you” and it’s not because we share the same lineage but because she was strengthened by the knowledge that the same blood that flows in me, flows in her. It wasn’t as important to me because of what she said but because it was important to her as a source of hope and confidence that through our genetic connection, there lies somewhere in her the resources to overcome her own struggles. Oh and by the way that same blood that my parents gifted me with courses through you with the additional benefit that I’m putting on a daily display to illustrate what it means!

So my point? Just to let you know I’m in a good place for whatever fickle direction this life may take me – it’s not as much in my hands as much as it is in “His”. Still I have a sense that the foundation of my basic “bucket lists” since my injury have been achieved. Of course I still have grander ones for myself that are in my hands to accomplish if given the days but if that choice is taken from me, I’m now cool with what I have left behind for all of you to carry, remember, and smile about.

My nagging concern is if I wasn’t around, which one of you boys would step up for Mom at the expense of the trivial distractions that take your focus. I say this because when my father was no longer a permanent part of my home when I was much younger than you guys, I became the “de facto man of the family” but as I got older, I sometimes abdicated that role for my own self-absorbed interests. If I could go back and change those times I would, but I can’t and as the next generation, I have to trust you to never make those mistake because your Mom deserves it, your upbringing calls for it, and your character demands it!

Last thing. I’ve had to rely primarily on myself while motivated by your existence to get where I’m at now. Therefore most of my individual needs can be fulfilled through my own efforts and creativity so that should take any pressure off yourselves to make me happier than I am (if that’s on your minds) so that you can concentrate on the best choices for yourselves and our family’s happiness.

I put a lot of work into this so don’t screw things up for yourselves because we will never know if my next brush with death doesn’t turn out so well, leaving me without the energy, resources, ability, or even presence to help you out. Still if it was only for me (although not happy with the thought), I’m not as fearful as before after what I’ve built and left behind and in the end, I’ve got to believe you could and would take care of each other in my absence. Make sense?

The Tenacity Of Your Dreams – Thoughts For My Sons

10 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by jdicochea in Baseball Equals Life, Confessional, Finding Happiness, Hope, Kindness, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, The Journey

(Creators Of Their Dreams)

3/9/15

“The question should be, is it worth trying to do, not can it be done.” – q Allard Lowenstein

Some (including a few around me) may think I’m too old or foolish at 53 to believe in the notion of fairy tales, fantasies, story tales, unicorns, etc. Ok I get it but the way I view their existence is a just a product of how I define and envision them, not how others do, so it only matters to me or so it should seem. I like to think that the greatest things I’ve yet to discover are still waiting to be introduced to me if I keep working to uncover them, imaginary or not.

Here’s something that baffles me – why it’s so important to some people whether I still believe in them merely based on products of their own beliefs and perceptions. Sure there is that thing called “reality” that somehow was supposed to have battered the hypothetical products of my imagination into submission towards sensibility a long time ago but I guess it just didn’t register enough to shatter them; and you know what, I’m entirely comfortable existing outside of the confines others restrict themselves to. And if I’m being honest, there were times in the past where I felt so cornered under the blows that it should have been easy to just submit to those “logical” restrictions. But you know, there is just not enough “give” in me and too much stubbornness to let that happen and I don’t care how “nuts” that makes me appear to those gifted with “rational enlightenment”! In my mind, I’m somewhat sorrowful for any who surrender too easily when there probably may have been more in them before “tapping out” of a contest had they just lasted a bit longer to figure out how to escape what had them only momentarily pinned (think of “Never Back Down”).

Here’s the thing I want you to remember and understand about me, especially in light of certain occurrences that tested my insecurities and vulnerabilities midst resulting struggles with concepts of hope and faith and fortunately, both recovering despite the onslaughts. Boys, remember the scene from “Cool Hand Luke” where he refused to stay down despite getting the “shit” kicked out of him by “Drag Line” in the prison yard, even when “Drag” practically begged him to stay on the ground, telling him that he was “beat”! Two quotes come to mind. The first was his response, saying “you’ll have to kill me before I’m beat.” The second was after the fight when Luke won a poker hand by bluffing and “Drag” sarcastically said he won the pot just how he fought, “with nothing”. And in one of the most classic responses ever muttered in a movie, “yeah , well sometimes having nothing can be a pretty cool hand!”

Now I’m certainly not as “cool” as Luke but I guarantee you that at times, I’m as illogically stubborn as he was and someone or something is going to have to figuratively knock me off the pedestal of existence before I finally stay down because what I strive for is greater than the beating I’ll have to take to get it! I’ve gotten up time and time again after each test and stumble when surrender and acquiescence seemed the better “play”. Given the fact that I am still on this planet just reinforces the belief in myself that some force or power will almost have to destroy me before I will allow myself to be truly beaten, both physically and mentally!

I don’t know why I’m this way but likely a product of my parents’ influence and I wish you would have gotten to know them to fully understand what I mean. Throw in a little Lakewood Lancer Baseball led by coach Herbold and then you’ve got the finished product. But if something’s important for me to believe in, like how I see myself, my dreams, you guys, etc., how can I define what I stand for if I were to abandon them, even in the face of the strongest confrontations against them? And trust me, I still envision mastering so many of the challenges ahead of me because even though I’ve yet to discover why I’m still on this planet after what we can agree have been the closest of calls almost too numerous to contemplate, there has to be something calling out for greater achievement while I walk on this earth, or so it seems to me.

Now the scary part: I have seen and continue to see a lot of the same similarities in you guys and for better or worse, greatly fueled with the benefits and attributes of youth. Trust me I’m jealous of what you can achieve given the number of years you have ahead of you, in comparison to mine, that you get to explore presumably unabashed by significant mortal limitations at this juncture. It is absolutely illogical for you to be so young to stop believing in the hope for anything you can foreseeable achieve when at your age, you have the opportunity to live so many of your dreams on a continual daily basis with greatest ones to be fulfilled in accordance with your own timeline and no one else’s.

There will be moments one day that will undoubtably require all the resources you can muster, some undiscovered and maybe unimaginable at this point, to conquer adversities and adversaries that will want to compromise your inner-faith in the structure of your unique and genealogical makeup. Still it is my stubborn and stout belief in both of you that you’ll never back down from anyone or anything that threatens what you know you deserve and/or are entitled to that are ultimately products of that which you’ve worked so hard for and are still working towards with peace, harmony, and happiness at the coveted end of each of your days!

I’ll share with you that I started writing this about a year ago and am only finishing it today. You have been fortunate and tested witnesses to some of my life altering challenges before that time and some significant medical and personal ones thereafter either introduced by life or through my own invitation, including those that just might have understandably fractured segments of my overall faith and hope in a higher universe but guess what? In the end it didn’t and couldn’t, because I continue to stand by my overall philosophy that with the advent of each new day, there remains the potential that it can turn out to be the best day of my life with the proper combination of dreaming, optimism, work, tenacity, and resilience. Again, I guess there’s just not a lot of “give” in this particular “Dico”, just like I’ve yet to see any of it in you two boys!

So in conclusion and for effect, I’ll leave you with this quote as you progress amidst all of your endeavors. “Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey.” – Fitzhugh Mullan. And while on that journey, do it with faith, confidence, conviction, and optimism, and while doing so continue to keep it “cool” because right now, you’ve got all the cards to play so many winning hands at each of life’s table!

With 1,440 Minutes Today, I’ll Discover… – Messages To My Sons

07 Monday Mar 2016

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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(Sun Coming Over Ocean In Malibu)

1/11/15

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”
— Pablo Picasso

It’s funny but when I first read this, I instinctively associated it with atypical, untried ventures, or grand “bucket list” type objectives. Then I gave it a little more thought (since I have the time) and reconfigured my thinking.

However we want to perceive it, we wake up each morning to a new day. Even though it seems initially similar in performers, arrangement, appearance, sequence, and propensities, it seems that each rotation of the earth provides an introduction to a distinct mix of sights, experiences, relationships, acquisitions, etc., that can be newly accepted and appreciated specifically and individually by each of us. Despite certain similarities, no two people’s lives are or remain the same. In that regard, we do not have to be disciples or devotees because we have been accorded the power to dictate our personal existence and don’t have to be continuously limited by external expectations or demands.

We can anticipate that we will encounter challenges, obstacles, or opportunities regardless of how we wish to perceive each encounter. Depending on what we invest in each day, we’ll gain a further understanding of what we already or mistakenly thought we knew. With that measure of recognition, it can turn out to be a remarkable advancement of our being from the previous day. That’s a really cool concept because even if we take a little from our daily experiences, it adds up over time to a extraordinary amount of growth assuming our priorities and values are sound.

I just have to believe that we can contribute or take something from each day whether it be from what we achieve, obtain, or are provided with if we’ve developed an awareness of those things that we too frequently view as insignificant or inconsequential. From the moment we are born, we are faced with an abundance of situations around us to legitimize the countless hours we’ve been given on this planet. We won’t always remember every hour of every day but anything memorable for any period of time is still a considerable accomplishment!

One more thing to remember is that setbacks are part of almost every great endeavor and not meant to invite final surrender. Even when things seem lost or taken from us, it’s replaced oftentimes with something better depending on the actual relevance of what was lost. Call it “addition through subtraction”, although that may be a too simple an adage. In my life, as a passionate and sensitive person, I’ve suffered to varying extents through every loss. However, I’ve learned through reflection that I was stronger, more resilient, and surprisingly more hopeful because with each new day, so many meaningful things have been introduced and revealed that encourage me to live beyond such suffering. I guess that our lives are just destined to undergo multiple makeovers the more we inevitably have to undergo.

A couple things come to mind as I think about this philosophy. The first is a quotation stating that “if it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” Most importantly, don’t continue to try in the manner that failed you. Try better, fail better, get closer, try better again. Just please, don’t give up!

The second is a scene from a movie J and C are familiar with – “Three O’Clock High”. In the scene, a kid is challenged by the school bully to a fight and the kid being too intimidated to fight, pays the bully off to avoid a beating he assumed woul occur. After taking the money the bully asks a stinging question, not so much as a taunt but more out of a lack of understanding. “You didn’t even try. How does that feel?” I guess to some, not trying and thus not knowing may seem the most convenient approach when faced with a difficult challenge or problem. I’m sure there have been periods in my life that ignorance was a temporary sort of bliss. However what was hidden eventually snuck up on me and all I was doing was postponing the inevitable after more was invested and consequently, more lost. For me, I just can’t see myself controlled by uncertainty and the unknown when I can have the opportunity to manage what I discover and use it to my advantage to overcome the inevitable difficulties and obstacles that come my way. If this is truly my life, then I’m better served to control its direction with the reasonable amount of information that is available to me.

So we have 1,440 minutes each day which sounds like a lot because it is. Hard to argue that it really is more than enough time to do something that continues to give our lives meaning which can carry over to the next 1,440 minutes. I just have to remind myself to avoid dwelling in the isolation of my own greater expectations and demands and import, with a heightened awareness, the simpler and uncomplicated opportunities presented by the frequently unnoticed people and circumstances that pop up each day. The former may have a considerable and discernible result but the latter, added up, offers a substantial and more frequent amount of influence. I recommend that we continue to dream of extraordinary things but maybe keep our eyes open for the barely discernible gifts bestowed upon us because they can be more easily located in those 1,440 minutes. It might take a simple modification of our mindset but can’t see why not if it helps, you know?

I’ll end (finally) with this quote because it just seems like there’s more value to this mindset. “Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” Joe Dicochea

Critical Moments (excerpt)

04 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by jdicochea in Uncategorized

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…Just remember that when you feel happy for whatever reason, think about how different it feels compared with other emotions and that it’s probably your best opportunity to make a difference to help others (whether family, friends, or strangers) when surrounded by small opportunities to do so. Since we all have known similar emotions of feeling depressed or despair, then maybe the smallest kind gesture may have an impact. We all know the obvious signs or clues, and it’s not important to know the why, what, solution, or response in return. It’s only important that we as human beings caught in the same environment react to such an opportunity and do more than just share space in it; doing otherwise, in my opinion, seemingly betrays whatever higher power we ascribe too. Just thinking out loud, again.

Joe

JoeDicoSpeaks

~ Convergence of reflections, contemplations, and other musings

Monthly Archives: March 2016

What’s There To Fear? – Thoughts To My Family

Capturing The Moment – Message To My Son

The Tenacity Of Your Dreams – Thoughts For My Sons

Critical Moments (excerpt)