(Creators Of Their Dreams)

3/9/15

“The question should be, is it worth trying to do, not can it be done.” – q Allard Lowenstein

Some (including a few around me) may think I’m too old or foolish at 53 to believe in the notion of fairy tales, fantasies, story tales, unicorns, etc.  Ok I get it but the way I view their existence is a just a product of how I define and envision them, not how others do, so it only matters to me or so it should seem. I like to think that the greatest things I’ve yet to discover are still waiting to be introduced to me if I keep working to uncover them, imaginary or not.

Here’s something that baffles me – why it’s so important to some people whether I still believe in them merely based on products of their own beliefs and perceptions.  Sure there is that thing called “reality” that somehow was supposed to have battered the hypothetical products of my imagination into submission towards sensibility a long time ago but I guess it just didn’t register enough to shatter them; and you know what, I’m entirely comfortable existing outside of the confines others restrict themselves to.  And if I’m being honest, there were times in the past where I felt so cornered under the blows that it should have been easy to just submit to those “logical” restrictions.  But you know, there is just not enough “give” in me and too much stubbornness to let that happen and I don’t care how “nuts” that makes me appear to those gifted with “rational enlightenment”!  In my mind, I’m somewhat sorrowful for any who surrender too easily when there probably may have been more in them before “tapping out” of a contest had they just lasted a bit longer to figure out how to escape what had them only momentarily pinned (think of “Never Back Down”).

Here’s the thing I want you to remember and understand about me, especially in light of certain occurrences that tested my insecurities and vulnerabilities midst resulting struggles with concepts of hope and faith and fortunately, both recovering despite the onslaughts.  Boys, remember the scene from “Cool Hand Luke” where he refused to stay down despite getting the “shit” kicked out of him by “Drag Line” in the prison yard, even when “Drag” practically begged him to stay on the ground, telling him that he was “beat”!  Two quotes come to mind.  The first was his response, saying “you’ll have to kill me before I’m beat.”  The second was after the fight when Luke won a poker hand by bluffing and “Drag” sarcastically said he won the pot just how he fought, “with nothing”.  And in one of the most classic responses ever muttered in a movie, “yeah , well sometimes having nothing can be a pretty cool hand!”

Now I’m certainly not as “cool” as Luke but I guarantee you that at times, I’m as illogically stubborn as he was and someone or something is going to have to figuratively knock me off the pedestal of existence before I finally stay down because what I strive for is greater than the beating I’ll have to take to get it!  I’ve gotten up time and time again after each test and stumble when surrender and acquiescence seemed the better “play”.  Given the fact that I am still on this planet just reinforces the belief in myself that some force or power will almost have to destroy me before I will allow myself to be truly beaten, both physically and mentally!

I don’t know why I’m this way but likely a product of my parents’ influence and I wish you would have gotten to know them to fully understand what I mean.  Throw in a little Lakewood Lancer Baseball led by coach Herbold and then you’ve got the finished product.  But if something’s important for me to believe in, like how I see myself, my dreams, you guys, etc., how can I define what I stand for if I were to abandon them, even in the face of the strongest confrontations against them?  And trust me, I still envision mastering so many of the challenges ahead of me because even though I’ve yet to discover why I’m still on this planet after what we can agree have been the closest of calls almost too numerous to contemplate, there has to be something calling out for greater achievement while I walk on this earth, or so it seems to me.

Now the scary part:  I have seen and continue to see a lot of the same similarities in you guys and for better or worse, greatly fueled with the benefits and attributes of youth.  Trust me I’m jealous of what you can achieve given the number of years you have ahead of you, in comparison to mine, that you get to explore presumably unabashed by significant mortal limitations at this juncture.  It is absolutely illogical for you to be so young to stop believing in the hope for anything you can foreseeable achieve when at your age, you have the opportunity to live so many of your dreams on a continual daily basis with greatest ones to be fulfilled in accordance with your own timeline and no one else’s.

There will be moments one day that will undoubtably require all the resources you can muster, some undiscovered and maybe unimaginable at this point, to conquer adversities and adversaries that will want to compromise your inner-faith in the structure of your unique and genealogical makeup.  Still it is my stubborn and stout belief in both of you that you’ll never back down from anyone or anything that threatens what you know you deserve and/or are entitled to that are ultimately products of that which you’ve worked so hard for and are still working towards with peace, harmony, and happiness at the coveted end of each of your days!

I’ll share with you that I started writing this about a year ago and am only finishing it today.  You have been fortunate and tested witnesses to some of my life altering challenges before that time and some significant medical and personal ones thereafter either introduced by life or through my own invitation, including those that just might have understandably fractured segments of my overall faith and hope in a higher universe but guess what?  In the end it didn’t and couldn’t, because I continue to stand by my overall philosophy that with the advent of each new day, there remains the potential that it can turn out to be the best day of my life with the proper combination of dreaming, optimism, work, tenacity, and resilience.  Again, I guess there’s just not a lot of “give” in this particular “Dico”, just like I’ve yet to see any of it in you two boys!

So in conclusion and for effect, I’ll leave you with this quote as you progress amidst all of your endeavors. “Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey.” – Fitzhugh Mullan.  And while on that journey, do it with faith, confidence, conviction, and optimism, and while doing so continue to keep it “cool” because right now, you’ve got all the cards to play so many winning hands at each of life’s table!