Monthly Archives: June 2016

As You Enter One More Game, Jason – Thoughts From Dad

28 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life, Gratitude, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection, Sports Equals Life

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(RBI single in 2-1 championship victory)

6/3/16 – Pre-Game Reflections

“To achieve [what was thought to be] the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.” – Tom Robbins

“Currahee” is a mountain in Georgia that Easy Company of the 101st Airborne had to run 1-2-3 times (sometimes in full packs) almost every day and/or night while training to become troopers leading to their preparation for D-Day.  It’s what made them arguably the greatest company in the most legendary division in the entire European theater.

So what’s this mean for your purposes, you might ask?  Well “Curahee” was purportedly an Indian word that translates loosely to “we stand alone together” and it’s how Easy saw themselves as a Band of Brothers against anyone or anything that would stand up against them.  There was no greater display of this mindset than when the 101st, along with remnants of other divisions that were patched together, were deployed during the Battle of The Bulge while outnumbered and surrounded in unrelenting weather lacking adequate gear, supplies, air support,and replacements.  You were probably two young to remember when we watched Tom Hanks miniseries “Band of Brothers” but it might be worth revisiting when you have the time, especially the first episode which lays out the “Currahee” which might give some context to this story.

So Dad enough of the history lesson, right?  Well we’ve gone back and forth through so many texts like this together too numerous to count over the last three years for me to believe that you fail to appreciate the significance of this as you approach the moment you step onto the field again in an attempt to replicate last year’s Division Championship.

Although you will be surrounded by family, friends, fans, etc., you and I know that it is only you as a team that will “Stand Alone Together” as a Band Of Brothers, forged by uncountable challenges and tests stretching back to your freshmen year and in some cases, little league and grade school.  Who am I to try to define and describe what that relationship entails (although I have some idea thinking back to Lakewood Baseball days) because only you truly know what it means and how it has changed and molded your young lives by the greatness of moments that you created and never achieved before in the history of this program.  I have been a proud witness to so much of your journey as a father whose spent so much time on both sides of the fence with you and even though I had hopes of grandeur for you from the day you first threw a ball to me like so many other Dads, I could never have predicted that the quest I started with you has ended WITH YOU taking me along on such an incredible, miraculous, and unprecedented ride.  I ask myself all the time, how did this all happen?  And you know what, it doesn’t matter because this is not time for analysis and analytics.

Now all I ask (and doubt that I have to) is that you slow down either before or during the anthem, address God with a great deal of humility, and look around you while you thank Him for the hours that lie in store for you as you will soon write the words, verses, paragraphs, and the next chapter of this growing story of your existence.  And then, look at your teammates and see that as individuals you are so talented but as a company of young men, you will stand alone together before us stronger than any force that opposes you almost like the Spartans of Ancient Greece.

I’ve said so many times in efforts to motivate and inspire you that “greatness is no accident” so the products of the great moments that have led you to the title game once again should never be confused as a result of luck or chance.  This is the byproduct of great young men, fueled by great individual and common dreams, and working, walking and running together (sometimes carrying each other) on your own personal “Currahee” to one final great moment as Redondo Sea Hawks!  And you know what?  Other than sharing an actual battlefield such as the men of Easy Company did so many times in WW2, and I pray you never do, you will likely never have a connection more profound than your unique relationship with those on this team that enter with you into the fray that lies ahead at game time.

Am I jealous?  You bet but at least I had a taste of it when I was your age!  Am I proud?  “F” yes because I can actually say with immense satisfaction that I’ve gotten and get to watch a true “Dico” who will write his own destiny with confidence after earning the stripes that are required to be called by that nickname!  “Currahee”, “Kumite”, good luck, and good skill from your Dad, who is still waiting to grow up one day so he can be like Jason f’ing Dicochea.  I Love you son.

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The Discipine Behind Giving Of Ourselves – Thoughts To Family

21 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Hope, Kindness, Looking forward, Reflection

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(Photo Contributed By Marlena Groomer)

1/20/15

“Discipline isn’t just punishing, forcing compliance or stamping out bad behavior.  Rather, discipline has to do with teaching proper deportment, caring about others, controlling oneself and putting someone else’s wishes before one’s own when the occasion calls for it.” – Lawrence Balter

I’ve read this a few times and I had to break it down closely because it meant something different each time.  The part that really affected me the most is the last part about “controlling oneself and putting someone else’s wishes before one’s own when the occasion calls for it”.  I think the interpretation and actual application differs from person-to-person based on so many individual factors.  I can appreciate and respect that and I don’t want to go into precise detail or a long diatribe about its meaning to me now since it’s probably different had I read it two years ago.

I guess the difficulty is identifying and defining “when the occasion calls for it” because there are so many variables to sift through before we know it’s time to put someone else’s wishes before our own.  Honestly I really don’t know when that situation is, beyond the obvious, and not knowing how willing I should be to sacrifice my wants or needs temporarily so that I can aid in the fulfillment of someone else’s.

I guess it comes down to the “controlling oneself” aspect that is referred to but maybe with some modification.  I know at this juncture of my life, I am in better “control of myself” so that I can recognize what I am capable of when it comes to any contribution I can provide to others.  I have a better grasp of not only what I can offer someone but also when the circumstance may best call for its presentation, or at least that’s what I tell myself.

I mean really, who is taken seriously when they are perceived as “out of control”?  How much value can be given to any message when the messenger seems lost?  Personally, I’m not even comfortable, confident, or self-assured in what poses as my own “thoughtful” or “wise” advice when I’m so clearly not able to put it into practice on my own!  I suppose it becomes a weighted judgment call depending on the provider and the recipient with both titles often interchangeable depending on the investment and openness of the participants.

It makes sense that I know my best offerings are when I’m adequately connected within the foundation of the brightest regions of my soul.  By no means am I egotistical enough to think that my views have relevance to all people and situations.  If I did, I’d have to reconsider my overall recovery from my injury.  But when there is an independence from the darkest influences from own turmoil, there is a clarity and awareness that gives us the best opportunity to extend whatever guidance and information we’ve acquired to others.  More importantly, it can be given in a more meaningful, genuine, and believable fashion.

I’ve said before that it’s never my intent to serve as preacher, pastor, or prophet about my own approach since I’m continually reexamining it, and I don’t seek conversion to my own personal dogmas.  However, I can absolutely guarantee that there is a considerable amount of substance based on my background, experience, and most importantly, reflections over the last year of the journeys I’ve traveled and what I’ve taken from them.  I’m just some poor sap willing and trying to help because honestly, I’m in a decent place to make the effort right now.

So maybe it’s less a sacrifice but rather a sharing of the the wealth of a utopian existence when it presents itself.  We don’t live in a vacuum!  Accept that we are not only the product of our own creation, but also the contributions and influences of those around us.  When unrestricted from life’s complexities, there is no greater expression of our own inner fulfillment than it’s extension to someone who might be able to utilize it.  Think how grateful you’d be when inevitably the roles end up reversed and we all face similar, unfortunate circumstances.  If we can “put someone’s wishes before one’s own” with the best in us that we can provide, it makes little sense why we shouldn’t!

I’ll end with the words of a remarkable young lady from the past.  “Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” — Anne Frank

Giving Life To Our Dreams – Thoughts To The Boys

19 Sunday Jun 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection, Sports Equals Life

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6/19/16

“When you have a dream and you love each other and keep believing in a dream, you can accomplish miracles!” – Jim Valvano talking about the 1983 North Carolina Championship Basketball Team

It’s no secret that I’m a diehard fan of Coach “V” as one would surmise from my repeated use of the quotes from and references to him.  Maybe one would think it’s because I was witness to the sports miracle that was accomplished when he led his 1983 NC State basketball team on the most unlikely and magical run to the NCAA tournament finals where they upset a vastly more talented Houston team (two future NBA hall of gamers) in the greatest upset in tournament history.

Now come on, it’s just sports which certainly produces so many amazing storylines and admittedly, this one is certainly more memorable by how it remains as part of our sport’s culture to this day as an inspiration to underdogs and afterthoughts in not just sports, but all areas of society.  But sports moments are just that, snapshots of a particular portal of competitive endeavors that we get reminded of, generally when the appropriate circumstances warrants its introduction into our psyche in some manner and degree.

Still in its overall affect, did it inspire me to change the way I approach life?  Well I am certain it did in the lessons I’ve used to guide and motivate my children when challenged and by extension, what I’m authoring now.  Or, did it help to improve the treatment of something like cancer for countless patients afflicted with the disease?  Well we know it did by the growth and contributions of the “Jimmy V Foundation” that he created after his life was ruthlessly assaulted, and before it was taken, by cancer.  But here’s what has to be recognized: had that 1983 sports storyline not been created, it’s likely the birth of the “legend” and fame of “Coach V” would not have emerged to give birth to his organization when it was established and its astronautical growth thereafter.  That foundation came about too late to save his life or my parents lives, but in a miraculous twist to his legacy, the byproduct of its research and the evolution of cancer treatment saved his daughter’s life when she was diagnosed with breast cancer years later.

I ponder this quote by Thurl Bailey, a player from that 1983 team, in reflecting back on his former coach as one of the most beautiful expressions of praise that any man could ever hope to be described or remembered as by those who reflect upon their knowledge of that existence.  “Everything he accomplished and everything he was as a person is the essence of the man!”.  If only I should be so fortunate to be honored with similar accounting of my days here in my particular universe but hey, I’m still making a conscious effort and I’m constantly an evolving work in progress.

So in my mind it’s about the collective and enduring power of the man who turned out to be more than just a basketball coach beyond that victory in 1983.  It’s exponentially about his words, the way he lived, the people he touched and inspired, and his final acts before he died, that profoundly separated himself to be among the upper echelon of immensely extraordinary humans that I’ve witnessed in my lifetime.

Now back to “Coach V’s” influence; you have to remember that he was diagnosed with terminal cancer leading to an abundance of tumors that spread throughout his body but still his final goal remained to his dying day, as reflected in a note he wrote to himself that was accidentally found in the pocket of his dry leaning by his wife was, to “beat cancer”!  He did that, maybe not in his own individual quest but for the thousands of others he impacted through the man he was, whose lives he affected during his lifetime, and whose lives he SAVED through the work of the “V Foundation” including his daughter as noted above.  I mean it’s one thing to give birth to a child but what greater accomplishment can be achieved by a parent than being personally responsible for saving his/her physical life and in a way, gifting them with another?

What a legacy (or maybe that’s just me)!  I can say I was blessed to watch that championship game and the ones that were televised during that magical run when I was so much younger and not insulated from its impact due to the abundance of information available these days that leads to an overindulgence of stimulation that can negate our awareness of what’s happening right in front of our eyes.  But goodness gracious sakes alive, I’m so much older and I needed someone like “Coach V” back then and still need my memory of him morphing into something greater than that one tournament to keep my eyes on the prizes that continue to happen in front of these eyes!  Otherwise I might have gone crazy or emotionally diluted by too many of the things introduced in my life that could have overwhelmed that vision.

I may f’ing hate cancer for taking both my parents but my hope and faith in life’s possibilities, probabilities, and likelihoods is still strong by how they fought it, and through “Coach V’s” efforts that have carried on well beyond each of their passings, because I’m still here to better my existence to honor them.  It’s because of my hope and faith in most things that I still battle to garner every ounce I can from the things that feed my optimism for each day I have been given while I step over or around the pratfalls that produce disillusion and negativity because, they too often introduce themselves to try to steal life’s basic, simple, elegance that I choose to believe in.

So God gave me another day to persevere in how I want to live it and I thank Him because it allows me to build on “the essence of the man” I want to be.  A work in progress?  Yep, but my destiny at least has a better direction from those that have and continue to inspire me like my parents, “Coach V”, and anyone who makes a contribution towards whatever remarkable conclusion I systematically strive to achieve.

So I’ll end with one last quote because it’s a favorite and one I use as a reminder of how I want to see what’s ahead of me: “We will never have a perfect world, but it’s not romantic or naive to work toward a better one.” – Steven Pinker

Thinking Like Superman – Message To My Family

15 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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(Originally Authored 2/19/15)

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”
— Christopher Reeve

The “Superman” of my generation authored this following a horse riding accident that left him paralyzed and in a wheelchair with a tube in his throat until the day he died.  He dictated this for his wife, children, and anyone who pitied or expressed sympathy for him.

Please read this and explore what he may have been thinking being fully aware of his condition compared to what it was before his accident.  I guess it hits me closer to home because, by no means as traumatic or extreme, I’ve struggled with similar actualities, especially in the desolation of my own quiet thoughts.  I’m not sure that I really cried during those times but only because I had to summon every amount of faith in myself to press on through any times of despair.

Ponder this:  Every time you say you can’t, it’s really that you won’t.  Every time you say you won’t, it’s really because you’re afraid to try.  Either that or you want to prove that you don’t have to and if so, it still means that you’re afraid to try, don’t believe in yourself enough, or acting in spite of everything and everyone including yourself!  It’s beyond my understanding but certainly within yours if you decide to honestly evaluate yourselves.

So I implore you never to limit yourself when the “movie Superman” proved how Super he was after almost all of his powers were taken from him.  Do not disregard any dream that you can create while you have the luxury of time and ability.  Remember others struggle with so much less and still seem to accomplish so much beyond others’ expectations.  You betray every endowment that The Lord has seen fit to provide you with when you fail to call upon that within you to accomplish what was truly not “improbable” and/or “impossible”.  You leave a blemish upon those dreams which should simply factor into your destiny and should be “inevitable” if you just see fit to include them as part of your lives.

I’ll close by referring to something Mom sent me because have no doubt, this is all me in a nutshell!  “I’m going to succeed because I’m crazy enough to think I can.”

God thank You for allowing me to be this crazy, even more so after my brain injury because it’s no longer about how screwed up I feel I am, but actually how screwed up I’m not!  And you?

Serve As The “God” Of Your Dreams – A Parent’s Message

09 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life, Finding Happiness, Looking forward

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(June 4, 2016 – Moments From Redondo High School Baseball’s Championship – God Of Their Own Dreams)

2/26/15

In the place of praying to The Lord to fulfill your dreams, act like your own “god” to see them through to completion.  You have been gifted by and through Him so do more of the work for yourself than ask Him to do more of the work that you want Him to do for you!

You should rejoice in life by being “comets” racing through the sky rather than be imprisoned as mortal stargazers left only to witness from earthly confines.  Speed unhindered around the ever expanding boundaries of the galaxy and return with the dust of the multiple particles of the universe that your journeys have traveled through.  Fret not over the uncertainty of that which you may not foresee, and escape with dedication the servitude of self-doubt and hesitation.  Waste not one heartbeat, squander one minute, nor dismiss one moment, until you have left your mark on the path of your celestial orbits.  If passing a star within your grasp, reach out and grab it rather than wait for God to hand it to you!

If only I could travel with you but I have already unveiled the treasures from my similar youthful journeys with only slight regret over the offerings never appreciated or accepted.  I only pray those endowments never be sacrificed nor extinguished through your lack of awareness, or your eyes be led astray by distractions for only you can be the “god” of your dreams.  I will faithfully wait here for your orbital return anticipating the wealth of the colors and fires of your comet as it eclipses the surrounding sky and be mesmerized by its view.

Display this love of your youth through the breadth of infinite galaxies you shall explore and the discovery of their once hidden mysteries.  Remember you shall one day exit them and in time, your ability to uncover more will be antiquated so until that time, serve as the “god” of your dreams so the Lord can serve those less fortunate than you!