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~ Convergence of reflections, contemplations, and other musings

JoeDicoSpeaks

Monthly Archives: January 2017

A Simple Breakdown To Competing – Thoughts To My Sons

30 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Baseball Equals Life, Finding Happiness, Looking forward, Sports Equals Life

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Self-Help, Sports, The Journey

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(Keeping competing simple)

1/30/17

“All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work.” – Calvin Coolidge

The key to being better than your opposition: play harder, play better, make adjustments quicker, and adapt to your situation and access your strengths sooner before the other guy!

Or as Nathan Bedford Forrest, the great confederate general, put it: “get there the fastest with the mostest!”

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What To Leave Behind – Lesson For My Sons

22 Sunday Jan 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Confessional, Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Joy, kindness, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, Thanks, The Journey

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(Photo contributed by Marlena Groomer – the beauty is that it can be seen so many ways)

7/1/15

“Adversity is like a strong wind.  It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” – Arthur Golden

I’m so personally dismayed and at times, disheartened from a logical and realistic standpoint when I (or for that fact, those closest to me) allow what has happened, or been done, set the boundaries and plant limitations for not just the present, but also how they shape the future ahead.  With only one life to either embrace or surrender to, I must adopt the ideology that I have the power behind the choices and eventually, the final decisions about what, the amount, and the duration, of what I carry from the past, regardless of how or who designed it.

Okay before the instinctive response to the foregoing regarding life not always being “easy” or “fair” is directed my way, out of courtesy I’ll acknowledge that attempt to point out the patently obvious so succinctly if allowed the following response:  No kidding and it’s not always meant to be!  I’m not sure how much gratitude I’m obligated to express for that piece of enlightenment or, the level of remorse I owe for my blatant sarcasm!

I get it that life can be difficult but it’s not meant to be that way for a vast majority of the time nor is it meant to travel with us indefinitely throughout our existence no matter how subjectively it’s measured.  Again I apologize for my sarcasm since this is a sensitive topic given the repetitive messages to my boys that self-designed demonstrations of martyrdom and victimization aren’t generally met with a great deal of tolerance or sympathy.  And for the record, I’ve previously been guilty of the same not understanding how unnecessary it was, how unsatisfying the results of those efforts were, how unpleasant I was to be around during those attempts, and the harm it caused to those closest to me.

Let me be honest that by virtue of the history of the author here, I’m well-versed about the challenges that this or any life can confront us with, either through our own or someone else’s creation.  To the best of my knowledge, there was no receipt from the hospital of my birth that set forth the guarantee that life would be “easy” or “fair”, and the only assurance I could draw upon was that my parents would do their best on my behalf with the resources they had available to them, their strengths, and doing their best not to succumb to their own flaws for what I would once day have to handle without them.

Do I wish some things would have turned out better despite their efforts?  Maybe but then again, that’s disrespectful because I’m not sure I could put a finger on anything that I’ve been gifted with that doesn’t relate back to what my parents provided me with, starting from my creation.  Besides what does that say about me when I can’t overcome what’s been introduced into my life that hasn’t yet destroyed me, and I’m certainly not going to blame God for what I wasn’t given when I think about the millions to billions of other people who upon quiet reflection, have had less to work with while dealing with so much worse!

Okay, so much for the opinionated diatribe and on to something that may or may not be meaningful on this topic.  Life can be challenging because of how unpredictable we view it which of course it is depending on the location it’s viewed from and associated mindset utilized at the time.  Then again, when I honestly reflect and revisit the history of the choices and decisions leading to what I initially thought was the unexpected, what’s astonishing is how naturally predictable I should have foreseen their occurrence (including what led to my recent brushes with mortality) and how it really wasn’t that surprising, accidental, or mystifying as far as how, why, and that they happened.

Of course as with all analysis derived from hindsight, it reveals the patently obvious signs of foreboding after its too late to rectify.  In the end, I now see that such “randomness” really is part of adding flavor to what we taste in life, whether it be sweet or sour, that unveils what I would prefer and want to avoid as the rest of it unfolds.  Maybe there’s some rationalization there but so what if there is, as long as it allows me to sort out and put people and things in proper perspective quicker than continually vacillating between theoretical personal debates about what may be never fully understood anyways!

I’ve had some time now to reflect on what is clearly apparent, things a little more sublime, and most things in between that have shaped this particular life which I ultimately own.

What has it all meant?  Sometimes it still depends on the location it’s viewed from, associated mindset, and even my f’ing moodiness at the time but with a greater degree of clarity on a vast majority of what I look back on and their connection to the “here and now”.  But by still carrying the residue of what could never be changed with the dread that similar events “might” occur again, then the better question is what am I depriving myself with respect to the opportunities to see all “the windows of hope” that I can open for so many things that would lead me to evolve through this one and only life while I still have it?  I mean how much time am I guaranteed anyways, or for that matter any of us regardless the age, to continue to “F” around before the final day comes where afterwards, all that is ultimately left of me is shadows and dust?  And the hereafter?  To abstract to contemplate but for now, all I ask is “just give me tomorrow” to see well enough where I can add and take more through my best efforts and acts of living!

So what to do with the past and finding it’s rightful place?  Paraphrasing something a friend told me, we have to let go of things or be prepared to be dragged down by them when it comes to what we carry from the past.  I think that’s largely true but only as a generality.  As a basic principle, it makes sense and I really try to do that so I can forge ahead albeit with varying degrees of success.  For me, I guess it’s best to hold on to things in the past only for what it has taught me for the challenging times ahead, and hold less tightly onto those things whose presence can’t be disregarded that either way will soon become part of the past so they don’t impede on all available empirical progression.  Beyond that, what has already made a difference may be remembered but has to be figuratively released so that what’s left to change my world can do so a lot more independently.

To be shackled by things that I’ve yet, and need, to escape from that still metaphorically imprison me doesn’t make sense when I think of what has passed without sufficient attention and appreciation.  All I want is the basic freedom to connect with everything inside me to forge a natural and better coexistence with what’s happening right now so I’m better versed about what I should gratefully be introduced to in the days ahead should I be privileged enough to see them.

So here’s the point out of the abundance of contemplation.  I’m better off looking at things more frequently based on the message from a favorite song:  “There comes a time in everyone’s life when all you can see are the years passing by but I’ve made up my mind that those years are gone and I’m just moving on”.  And that’s really it at this stage, before I reach the grand finale on this mortal stage.

It’s simply a matter of moving away from holding on too tightly to those unalterable things that can sway me towards frustration and bitterness, and choose a better existence restricted less by “what’s happened” with the freedom to be enlightened from and with a greater awareness of “what’s happening now” and how it can have a more meaningful influence on “what will happen” which will can hopefully set a more fluid and peaceful harmony with the changes that await me in MY world!  It’s up to me after all this time anyways so “either I will find a way, or I will make one.” – Philip Sidney.  Just thinking with hope again and not just for me but, you guys too.

With Optimism For The New Year

18 Wednesday Jan 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Hope, Looking forward

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Accountability, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, kindness, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, Thanks, The Journey

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(In looking back, I saw that I wrote and posted these thoughts on New Years Day last year.  Although not everything turned out perfectly which of course is to be expected, there were more than enough blessings throughout the year to believe that the following mindset and approach still applies as the remainder of 2017 awaits to reveal itself.)

“The quality of our lives can simply be broken down and measured through the following:  the initial choices we make from what we know, the circumstances which arise that impact those choices, and the choices we make in response thereafter to what we learn from both!” – Joe Dicochea

As we exit the previous year and enter the new one, we should remember not to dwell too much on the past because I’m not sure what good it will do.  I encourage all of us to take the good memories from 2015 and cherish them for as long as we can recall them.  As far as any mistakes, we should make whatever retribution necessary, learn from them, act accordingly, and just move on.  We need to avoid beating ourselves up over them and anyone who wants us to continue to do so is doing it more for their benefit, not ours! I cannot engage in that latter practice because Lord knows, it’s hard enough focusing on my own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual growth, welfare, happiness, and harmony.

I hear a lot of people say that 2016 is either going to be a “good year” or “better year”, probably since it’s like the beginning of the MLB Season where all teams start with a clean slate with the unrestricted hope of the possibility of a championship season.  As for me, I love optimism since as Winston Churchill once said, “I’m an optimist because it doesn’t make sense to be anything else!”  However I have figured out that truly great things rarely happen by accident or mere chance.  “Good” things happen to good people because they generally do good or correct things, or they have “good” people surrounding them for support and protection when needed.

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(Big Sur, California – contributed by Jason Dicochea)

I suggest we all take a moment today to at least take an overall look back on this year and then imagine where we see ourselves.  If we want a better year, I suppose it’s logical to simply start by continuing to do what works but maybe doing it better.  For those things that didn’t or haven’t worked, it makes sense to just simply change or approach them differently if we haven’t already learned to do so.  Resolve to be consistent as the year progresses and just look back at the end of each month and see how 2016 is unfolding.  I’m guessing that if we do so, we’ll get the year we’re looking for and probably a little (or a lot) more!

Along with your other New Year’s resolutions, please incorporate the following into them.  “Go for it now.  The future is promised to no one.”

I’m optimistic that we’ll all have a Happy New Year because it doesn’t make sense to envision anything else, you know?

From Unthinkable To Probable- Thoughts To My Sons

13 Friday Jan 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Baseball Equals Life, Looking forward, Reflection, Sports Equals Life

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Accountability, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Self-Help, Sharing, Sports, The Journey

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(Jason in December, 2006, during the Kumite portion of his belt test to earn his black belt at the improbable age of 9 – FYI, the student he was fighting was 14)

It’s not your “attitude” that will breed ultimate success, although at times it will sometimes get you close.  The journey to achieving the “extraordinary” is when you understand how to apply that “attitude” to your own specific “attributes” and let it launch you beyond what was once “unthinkable” and mold it into what resembles the entirely “probable”!  – Joe Dico

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(Christian in November, 2016, after being recruited and committing to play baseball while still a sophomore in high school at the University of Washington after he graduates in 2019)

In Due Time, You Will See…-Daily Thoughts To Sons

11 Wednesday Jan 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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Family, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, kindness, Life, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, The Journey

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1/11/17

“Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.” – Roy Goodman

I have realized through experience that God has a plan for all of us, to give each of us everything we need based upon His own design, timeline, and place, many times before we even realize and understand what that may be.  Let Him speak to you and when He does, listen intently with an open mind and soul so that when that discussion occurs, you will be better prepared for their introduction and capitalize on what He offers to provide you.

In this universe, it is meant for Him to reveal and bestow His blessings upon us, not just to expect them based on our immediate requests or wants so just be patient with faith and hope, because the end of the journey is sometimes well beyond the path that is only seen in front of our eyes.  As I’ve told you before, everything works out for the best in the end, no matter how it may feel at its worst.

From The Beginning To Everything! -Thoughts To My Boys

04 Wednesday Jan 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Baseball Equals Life, Confessional, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, Life, Motivation, Peace, Sharing, Sports, The Journey

 

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(7 years ago – how high they’ve climbed since then!)

10/21/14

“The one thing all famous authors, world class athletes, business tycoons, singers, actors, and celebrated achievers in any field have in common is that they all began their journeys when they were none of these things.”

I love this quote especially at this part of your young lives and the vast opportunities ahead of you that can lead to the fulfillment of your greatest aspirations.  I say that with a touch of jealousy but I say it recognizing that many of my greatest dreams have been and are still being accomplished.

Case in point. I wanted to play varsity baseball at Lakewood High School since it was one of the finest programs in the country at the time.  I did it lacking size and formal training other than what I learned on my own and watching it every chance I could.  I just practiced things I saw on TV on my own (like Christian does almost every day throwing a tennis ball off a wall or hitting whiffle balls), with friends, and through youth baseball leagues.  Honestly by Lakewood standards at the time, I was a marginal player and who knows what I’d have done at other schools.  Still though, my goal was to play Lancer baseball and to do that, I didn’t add a lot of distractions to my routine of school and friends (girlfriends just weren’t part of the equation with most of us until later).  I worked hard but it didn’t feel like work because I loved the endless hours on the field not only working with my teammates, but numerous minor and major league players who worked out at our field who let me train with, and learn from them.  God, life was great then!  In the end, I just found a way and made it MY way so that it happened and I guarantee you that it was not by accident.

Again, it took a lot of “work”, dedication, love of ME, dismissal of thoughts of doubt and limitations, and sometimes invoking the “Dico bad ass” qualities my father instilled in me.  And guess what?  The dream happened and continued by what I learned from playing there and applying what I discovered afterword on my own and then teaching you boys and there’s a lot of promise in your baseball futures.  [Jason now with two CIF championships, all-CIF team honors, and playing at U of Santa Clara; Christian taking over Jason’s shortstop position at Redondo High and committing to play at U of Washington after he graduates high school in 2019 as only a sophomore this year]

Next, I wanted to be a lawyer ever since I was in grade school and though not one member of my extended family graduated college, I became the first to do so and then earned my doctorate.  During the way I can acknowledge that I got sidetracked and distracted of my own doing which almost overwhelmed the dream.  However despite the delay, I found the way to get through law school and passed the Bar exam on my first attempt by making it MY way.  In the end I became a well-respected attorney in my specialty and during the process, became a partner at my last firm which is one of the finest in California.  My guess is that unless Jason and Christian get their college diploma & MBA or doctorate, my extended family will have to wait another generation for that to happen.

So here I am today almost a year from traumatic injury to my brain, body, and confidence and let’s be honest, what I’ve achieved has been no accident.  I’m not going to pretend to be noble and assert that this started out easy and I’ve never downplayed my ownership of anything that has happened to me – remember we own everything resulting from our choices and cowardly to assert otherwise!  I initially was angry at myself, the doctors who doubted me, and unfortunately too many times at Deb.  Then when I accepted this as a challenge and armed with only really only my basic resources and sometimes less than that, I discovered I still had in me more than enough of what I needed and they were the same things I started with in my youth.

I found ways to achieve the simplest of goals and then made them MY WAYS to accomplish more magnificent personal goals, both measurable and abstract.  I am a product of my parents creation and their influence, and when the “Dico bad ass” was called upon, it never failed me.  I think most will agree that with ownership of the beginning, this recovery is also owned by me and my choices.  I’ve said before, I’m in “the make it happen” stage of my life and so far, I have!

I really don’t care how anyone characterizes or describes my recovery – it’s only important how I do and I have never been prouder of anything I’ve ever done in my life because of what it’s ended up doing for others in it or just happen to cross its path.  I’ve found the best part of me and then shared it with everyone starting with you guys.  It’s important to know that you guys and your mom are important to me which is why I attempt to share my thoughts with all of you and even those outside that circle.  I see a beautiful life for all of us and one of my goals is to help you realize how blessed you should feel.

I discovered a wealth of kindness, humor (you be the judge), optimism, determination, commitment, strength (inner and outer) generosity, empathy, love of family and friends, love for the existence of my fellow man (even though many still annoy me), and (I think) insight and guidance.  It’s funny but I now realize I had a wealth of all of these things to start with and the best that was required uncovered and produced the best in me!

Now I should not have to remind you but I will of the following – you have all of these things!  You young Dicos have it in your blood.  Most importantly, you have been gifted beyond all limitations through the love, support, and sacrifice of your parents so anything is possible if you find the right way and make it YOUR way!

You want to exercise the right to complain about anything less, “well this big bad world doesn’t owe you a thing”, and “all your bitching, wining, pitching a fit, GET OVER IT!”  Keep moving forward, higher, and infinitely farther because you are equipped with everything you need.  If you don’t, I’m going to ask God to have us trade places because otherwise, you’re wasting both His and your time with only praying for and not doing the things that you can achieve with what He has already given you.  Now “do something with your life!”

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