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Monthly Archives: February 2017

The Magic Of Compliments – Message To My Family

22 Wednesday Feb 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Kindness, Looking forward, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, kindness, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, Thanks, The Journey

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(Palos Verdes, California)

11/20/14

“I just think it’s silly to be stingy with compliments.  If you see someone and they strike you as beautiful in any way, why not let them know?”

Obviously I embrace this mindset and during the past year, I’ve made it a point to let people know of any observation that justifies praise of the quality of their character and/or characteristics, regardless of age, gender, race, et., since my senses are not limited by filters that may distort them.  I’m sure it may appear to some as a way to draw attention to myself, but it’s more an expression of gratitude for drawing my attention to them.  Acknowledgement of another’s simple beauty is no less glorious than the artistry captured in the works of Da Vinci or the Egyptian pyramids, and can be simply appreciated within our personal surroundings and observations.

Here’s an abstract concept.  There is nothing more remarkable than the feelings generated when an infant smiles or giggles in response to our presence.  Regardless of the setting, I know that I am mesmerized by such simple expressions of a baby who’s just discovering awareness of that which is around him/her.  I suppose in those simple moments, that newborn reminds me of the power behind a simple “compliment”.  I mean this tiny human being sees with fresh, untarnished eyes in front of them how I’d like to see and feel about myself, sharing it so willingly and without restriction that in that moment, I actually am that person!  Such simple and modest an action by someone so young and small, but how magnetic and mystical the emotions and semi-comedic actions generated in our responses.

We are taught about the concept of our inner-soul but there is no specific definition of its precise makeup as it relates to each individual.  There are objective explanations that we are given mainly through religious interpretations and then additionally defined by our subjective measurements through personal experience and enlightenment.

Our souls grow through the wealth of daily trials we encounter and then it is measured by the results and the quality of our responses.  We cannot define it by compliments we strive for, desire, or demand, since then we are confusing our souls with vanity, ego, and at times insecurity.  Our souls soar when we receive them unexpectedly, from the most unlikely sources, with some thought and genuineness, and best of all when it’s needed the most.

For me, my soul travels outside my inner self and is strengthened when I offer complimentary observations not necessarily based on the response I receive in return, but more the appreciation of someone or something that is part of my world as it exists at that moment.  “Stingy with compliments” just robs ourselves of opportunities to expand the width and depth of our awareness.  It also restricts our connection with the innocence of our youth going back to our infancy that is often shuttered behind the travails of our time.

Lacking better words on my own, I have embraced and am determined to live through the following quotation because it has given me sanctuary from everyday discord, and provides peace and rhythm to my day.  My hope is after reading it, you will do more than embrace it as you live!

“I will be generous with my love today.  I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go.  I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.”

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Changing OUR Worlds

09 Thursday Feb 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Confessional, Finding Happiness, Hope, Kindness, Looking forward, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, kindness, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, Thanks, The Journey

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(Sunset at Redondo Beach)

This was written two years ago but in reading it again with an abundance of hindsight and further reflection, its message and observations seemed to be reinforced by all that’s elapsed since it was authored.

1/4/15

“Peace is better than war, because life is better than death.” – Mario Cuomo at the 1984 Democratic Convention.

Such a simple, logical statement.  I genuinely hope that our country’s leaders remember this before we engage in world conflicts that risk the lives of our young men and women soldiers, those of innocent civilians, and the hearts of friends and families who suffer the loss of either.  With two young sons, I need to be assured that these engagements are not for more of what we want versus need, and to protect universal moral and virtuous principles.

We may not be able to change the world on a global scale but we can change OUR worlds on a more individual and personal level if we adhere to basic, inescapable, and unarguable truths.  For me, the recognition and practice of these absolute tenets help to cleanse, strengthen, and energize my soul so that I get closer to that utopian existence I strive for.

Now for most of these, I’m sure that the instinctive response is “thank you Captain Obvious” or “no S… Sherlock”!  You’re right but if common sense already tells us this, why do I sense that too many still don’t exercise the most logical choice to avoid the most illogical outcome.  So read each one quietly to yourself as a reminder and just long enough for it to resonate, hopefully for some benefit and revitalized understanding.  At a minimum, just indulge me since connecting the antonyms to various words served as a more difficult challenge to the daily “cognitive crossword puzzles” I still have to solve stemming from my injury.  Most importantly, remember that these are about what we should share along with what we want to receive.

Love is better than hate; Kindness is better than apathy; Hope is better than surrender; Encouragement is better than criticism; Generosity is better than self-entitlement; Humility is better than vanity; Truth is better than deception; Honesty is better than duplicity; Accountability is better than denial; Forgiveness is better than condemnation; Sensitivity is better than indifference; Patience is better than interruption; Expressing emotions is better than suppressing them; Passion is better than disinterest; Harmony is better than disorder; Simple compliments are better than detailed critiques; A hug is better than a handshake (or fist bump); A smile heals more than a glare. Etc.

The list goes on and on and feel free to modify or expand on the foregoing but recognize that we always have a choices between whichever option we “want” to exercise.  It may take practice, discipline, and maybe some redirection, but remember that what we do for others we end up doing for ourselves so as a result, OUR worlds can change.

I’m close to ending this as I watch the tribute to Stuart Scott of ESPN who died this morning at the age of 49 from cancer.  I rarely shed tears over the death of someone I never met but here they are as I recall the countless days I watched him on ESPN (“boo-yah” and “cooler than the other side of the pillow”), and his speech after receiving the “Jim Valvano Award” at the ESPY’s last year.  Just someone who made a difference in MY world!

And finally words from another who was literally lost a long time ago but seemed appropriate for this writing.  “The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do, and the more genuine may be one’s appreciation of fundamental things like home, and love, and understanding companionship.” – Amelia Earhart

So do “more” good because it’s better than doing the opposite or worse, “nothing”!

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A Living Choice – A Simple Reminder

02 Thursday Feb 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Confessional, Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, kindness, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, Thanks, The Journey

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(2nd Street Hermosillo Beach – 1/31/17)

“There may be times where some would expect us to sour on life. We should remember the best reason against it.  We are alive!  If nothing else immediately comes to mind, we should think about good memories, have a great deal of hope for the ones ahead of us, and eventually make an effort to find a reason that’s probably right in front of us.” – Joe Dico

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