Monthly Archives: July 2016

Lead A Not-So-Boring Life – Message To My Sons

26 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Hope, Kindness, Looking forward, Reflection

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4/14/15

“Imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same…embrace your own uniqueness… you make life that much more exciting.” – Barbara Streisand

It’s funny boys to think that we each have the benefit of age to deflect a certain amount of responsibility for our actions.  You guys will sometimes get the benefit of “being too young to know any better” for things you say or do.  I on the other hand am expected “to have known better” but given my age, I may have the advantage of being so old that I’m entitled to suffer some lapses in memory to remember all the time. Throw in a brain injury, a few seizures, and there’s a considerable amount of latitude that I can exercise when my words or actions are seemingly conveyed or expressed without the benefit of a filter.  If they come across unkind or insensitive, I apologize because that’s not my intent. If they just seem silly or misguided attempts at humor, I won’t apologize because I’m just doing my thing, living in a seemingly unconventional universe that keeps me directly on course towards my own fulfillment, and usually having a good time doing it!

One thing I do appreciate though is when you guys express your individuality when it truly reflects the natural and organic essence of YOU!  It’s understandable, given the amount of time we’ve spent together, that your mannerisms can’t help but illustrate the influence Mom and I have had on you, just like my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, had on me.  The same goes for you Cole (my “adopted” son), especially since your Mom has had to pull double-duty without your Dad and if you need present-day illustrations of walking miracles, take a silent moment to evaluate the “world” where you and your brother currently exist in and wonder where you’d be had she not done such an amazing job when doing less would have been understandable given her loss.  Oh and have I mentioned before that Dee Dee is one of my heroes and a source of inspiration to the extent that I feel so blessed to see her on such a consistent basis to remind me that people like her exist in MY world!

Now as far as your parents’ lasting impact, there are certain basic commitments to the quintessential values, beliefs, morals, and principles you’ve been taught that we truly hope that you emulate and exercise while disregarding various characteristics that aren’t relevant, useful, or desirable for your own purposes.  I mean really, I’m not offended as you increasingly demonstrate a conviction to ideals and standards that are illustrations less of rebellion but more the pursuit of “perfection” that will give you the best likelihood at “perfect” outcomes for you, those around you, and the circumstances and situations you navigate through.

If I leave you with anything (and I think I’ve displayed it consistently), it’s that the happiness and contentment you seek is a product of what you’re willing to obtain on the terms you dictate and should not be dependent on what you are waiting to be given!  Yes I’m “nuts” in how I express myself and each emotion that is generated in me but I challenge you to point out who is the master of those expressions and most important, whose complaining and if so, why.

Annoying?  Maybe. Extreme?  Probably. Stubborn?  Where would I be if I listened to other’s restrictions rather than discover on my own and work within my own limitations.  Challenging? I hope so because what I demand of myself and you guys is not meant for those who think ordinary and average are acceptable aspirations for the quality of our existence.  Optimistic and positive?  Absolutely and if you interpret it otherwise, you’re getting lost in distractions that you are more than capable of managing.  Loving, caring, and kind?  Do you even have to ask!  You don’t have to figure out why I am “me” (too complex) or how I personally approach things, only that you are on my mind enough that I want to help make some of those 1,440 minutes of each day easier, a jumble of hours and days ahead of you more approachable, and in the end lead you to understand that all the “crap” I predicted for you coupled with your individual make-up is obtainable with no greater proof than the moment you accomplish it!

So be yourself with confidence because there is no one better at it and do it absent unnecessary vanity, ego, and self-absorption.  It is so important that you remember the following because what you’ll uncover is usually something you worried way too much about never happening:  “Be brave enough to live creatively.  The creative is the place where no one else has ever been.  You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  You can’t get there by bus, only by hard work, risking, and by not quite knowing what you’re doing.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful: yourself.” — Alan Alda

And while you’re on the road to that discovery, keep in mind “it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” – Marilyn Monroe.  I kind of like leaving people scratching their heads with a smile after most encounters because being who I am doesn’t give them much of an option, you know?  As Jason has stated before, “don’t hate me because you ain’t me”, and in my view, you’re on the right path!

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“So Now I Have Today” – Book By Joe Dicochea

20 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life, Confessional, Finding Happiness, Gratitude, Hope, Kindness, Looking forward, Reflection

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(Our dog “Dico” with his new favorite reading material, ha ha)

I have been blessed and privileged to announce the formal launch and publication for worldwide distribution by Peaceful Daily, Inc., of my first book titled “So Now I Have Today…” that is now available on:

The book is a compilation and collection of what I consider to be my most meaningful writings from my website “joedicospeaks.com” which have been edited and organized by category in a more concise and reader-friendly manner.

It is important to point out that I never began writing with the intention of a book in mind.  To those familiar with my story, it was essentially to enhance my limited cognitive skills during my recovery from a traumatic brain injury that I sustained in October, 2013, and also to share thoughts and insight with my sons from a enlightened perspective about life after their father was almost taken from them by that injury and subsequent complications.  The background behind the events leading to this story is more detailed in the “Intro To The Writer” at the top of my websites’ homepage and in the beginning pages of my book.

The chapters of the book are divided under the categories of Hope, Gratitude, Finding Happiness, Kindness, Looking Forward, Reflection, Confessional, and even Baseball Equals Life, since that sport has been part of my children’s upbringing and is part of the family dynamics (the oldest moves on to play at a D1 university next year with the younger likely to follow) and they continue to see the correlation between both.

The observations in this book, as relayed to my family and later to others as the message grew, was by no means created and intended to provide hard-written advice but are merely offerings to be considered from what I either rediscovered or were revealed to me once I was forced to slow down and simplify my life after the falls that led to my injury.  I eschew nothing but thoughts of optimism, faith, selflessness, gratitude, and compassion, all of which form the center of my existence and it is my utmost hope that those who search for and/or share in these ideals will find some meaning in what I have shared and hopefully, pass it on to others.

Again, I am blessed by this development and I thank not only those that have been kind enough to peruse my site but also those in the future who will entertain what is now a formal legacy for my family to one day share with the generations that follow.

Thank you from the bottom of my soul and heart!!!!

Joe “Dico” Dicochea

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The Dreams Waiting To Be Fulfilled – Thoughts To My Sons

13 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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Photo contributed by Marlena Groomer (Originally Posted 6/15)

6/22/15

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” Earl Nightingale

The other thing is don’t give up on that dream because it takes too much effort, time, sacrifice, or it becomes too confusing.  It may not make sense until the dream is actually realized but the scope of who you are, and maybe never envisioned yourself being, is how you respond to the most difficult obstacles on the journey to any dreams fulfillment.  Oh and if there weren’t any struggles along the way, you may want to revisit the substance of that dream, it’s origin, and possibly how “ordinary” it actually may have been compared to the average aspirations of so many others.

I’m not saying there’s no value to those minor accomplishments that we achieve because everything that is performed for our betterment should be experienced with joy and and an equal sense of pride because it’s part of the act of living and should never be overlooked, downplayed, or diminished.  Just make sure that upon quiet reflection, the self-satisfaction is proportional to the quality of the achievement and not overinflated for elements of drama, vanity, ego, or delusion.

I’m not sure that “suffering” is the proper term for what we experience during those times when adversity really taxes the internal chemistry of self-confidence and optimism that generally reinforces our plans to obtain the grander goals we envision.  Maybe it’s more a matter of “enduring” that particular period of time but I guess the terminology is subjective as to how we interpret that experience but remember your character will be measured by the demonstration of your responses to the conditions that challenge us.  I think it’s important to understand and accept that adversity, by its nature, is meant to be difficult, deflating, and generally an exhaustive challenge to our resources and may sometimes feel like a cannibalization of the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical assets that we have stored for these occasions.

So when things aren’t working out or falling into place at the moment, don’t get frustrated with yourself because of any resulting feelings of failure nor should you get disappointed with how you interpret your life at that moment or for that matter, life in general, just because things haven’t worked out so far.  That just means that what you’re working towards just hasn’t happened YET and any other mindset is a defeatist and a counter-productive attitude opening the door to excuses, victimization, and martyrdom, and as Dico’s, you know how much tolerance for that is allowed!

So read the the following from the author of “Tom Sawyers Cabin” and I pray that it registers and makes the most logical sense.  “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe.  This is along the lines of my previous discussion with Jason where I shared my outlook that with each new day ahead of us, there is still the potential that it could turn out to be the best day of our lives regardless of what it actually delivers and from that, hope and optimism should continue to be fed.  And so with dreams, they truly never fade until we give up on them because we surrender to the obstacles and difficulties that make them seem no longer obtainable.  Please, please, don’t let that happen!

Oftentimes you’ve come too far to give up on what you think is the final end of a story when it’s only the conclusion of another chapter with the next one waiting to be written.  Just summon a deeper faith in yourself and stay hopeful about life in all of it’s overall beauty, no matter how it temporarily presents itself, because overwhelmingly more often than not that’s all it is – temporary.  Just keep trying along with working harder, better, and maybe a bit differently if needed (why pound your head against the same wall?) because if you seek to uncover whatever you are looking for, it just might find you first!

Just remember that the chances for our best dreams to evolve towards fruition never disappear as long as we continue to cross even the most unstable bridges that might cause those less committed to their destinations to turn back because of what they can’t see yet or even worse, because of what others have told them can’t be done.  From the likely to even the most remote chances that any of our dreams can come true will always stay alive if we just avoid succumbing to products of what is only passing despair.  It makes sense that we are better served by maintaining an underlying basis of hope in the thought that given enough time, effort, a little assistance when stubborn pride has failed (okay that applies to me), and maybe a little serendipity, what we thought was so far away was just out of view and on the verge of introduction into our lives.

So I will end with a quote that I hope you can incorporate into the better part of your character because first it makes sense and second, what’s the purpose of thinking otherwise?  “A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” – Oscar Wilde.  If that should be our “punishment” for the hope and optimism we strive to uphold as we proceed towards our dreams, then let us all be held accountable for such efforts because the dawn of what we envision is right there awaiting our discovery!

We Have The Answers -Thoughts To Family

02 Saturday Jul 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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(Photo By Marlena Groomer)

3/18/15

“If you start to think the problem is “out there” stop yourself.  That thought is the problem.” – Stephen Covey

I guess by extension, thinking your answers are “out there” may be correct but waiting for them to find you is a problem as well.  I find myself too frequently, and probably uselessly, engaging in debates over when to rely on God for assistance, when to look within ourselves to provide that same assistance, and when a combination of both is called for.  I believe that The Lord has given us enough (if not more) within ourselves and from those who care about us to overcome and achieve what is in front and ahead of us.  That is of course with the support of His direction, guidance, and strength, when lost or sagging under the weight of the tests of my will since that’s where my own faith serves as the foundation for what and where I want to be.  When thinking I was forsaken, I ended up finding Him after realizing that He never left me and so embarrassed and humbled to think He ever did.

Hope will languish and be extinguished if we fail to do something with it while we have it.  I’ve never met a person who truly understood the meaning of “hope” unless they first had faith that they could actually solve the puzzles to reveal what was hoped for.

I think the most common responses to problems, depending on the degrees of difficulty and overall impact, fall into three general categories. 1) praying and waiting for them to hopefully go away; 2) praying and hoping that someone will save us from them, or 3) taking action after getting so tired of praying and waiting with the realization that we are the solution to the problems, even if were parts of their creation and evolution.  The first two approaches rely on good fortune and luck.  The latter stems from inner motivation, inspiration, and strength, along with an undiscovered reservoir of resources that has to be tapped into that leads to the self-confidence, faith, and belief that we can forge through whatever confronts us.

To this day I don’t know what separates individuals into those categories and whether how much of it’s dependent on nature, nurture, genetics, or the exercise of their independent, individual makeup.  I’m also uncertain what are the components that would allow one to emigrate from one approach to another but for me (not that it probably matters), I’ve kind of adopted the following way of thinking:  “Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines”, but then again I’m an impatient optimist fueled by a purpose which fortunately kept me driving forward over the last year or so up until this day.

I completely understand that everyone has their own approaches where patience, faith, and hopeful intervention, are intertwined to formulate a strategy that will lead to favorable results.  In the 1,440 minutes that pass through each day, maybe it makes sense to wait for one of them to reveal the answers to the problems that continually vex them.  I mean really, why shouldn’t it happen when it seems to happen for so many others, right?  Who knows, there’s always the chance so maybe it will and I wish them the best.

For me I just can’t, I won’t, I’m too impatient, and I could not live with any manner of substance for myself if I did.  I don’t know what would humble me more: praying to God for the solution knowing that He’s kind of tied up with larger universal issues without truly trying on my own or, having someone sacrifice more than they should to solve them for me which by the way would be someone’s solution rather than my own.  Trust me I appreciate help where I can get it but I’m still ultimately answerable for what I am, what I have, where I’m at, and where I end up.

Last quote and I’ll end here.  “We are continually faced with great opportunities which are brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.” – Margaret Mead. You know when it’s put that way, I’ll accept those challenges but who am I anyways?  Just me.