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Monthly Archives: March 2017

For God’s Sake, Life Is Fair! – Thoughts For My Children

30 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Looking forward, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, The Journey

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(Originally posted 4/15 – a favorite)

12/20/14

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” — Martin Luther King, Jr

Let’s start with something I’ve learned to accept in my lifetime.  People are not always fair or kind; We may not always be fair or kind to ourselves; Circumstances may not start out equally for everyone; Timing of the tests in our lives are not ever convenient.  With that in mind, it is hard to contest my following belief:  LIFE IS FAIR!  It does not seek out anyone individually to punish yet it does allows us the opportunity and freedom to overcome almost anything, even though it may not be exactly as we’d prefer.

Dr. King recognized that when faced with the hardships in our lives that we inevitably will encounter, we unveil the strengths and/or deficits in our character.  We begin to understand that although those difficulties feel seemingly insurmountable at the outset, the quality of our response and the determination we exercise to overcome them provides us with a growing belief structure that provides us with the groundwork to confront future challenges.  Hopefully we can exit each struggle with the knowledge that we are much more prepared and durable (rather than just surviving), as a result of each encroachment on our collective mental, emotional, and other intangible capabilities.

I do think that there is a sliding scale of the challenges we encounter.  The most difficult and defining are those that seem random, unexpected, and seemingly out-of-proportion to the resources we currently have to overcome them.  Those are the most tragic because they are the most difficult to process since they appear without rationale or logical origin.

At the other end of the spectrum are those challenges that are products of our own creation whether it be through poor choices, a misdirected sense of entitlement, lack of appreciation of the gifts bestowed upon us, or general self-absorption.  Those are almost as troublesome since they require a telling reassessment of the shortcomings in our values and priorities. The hope is for a sense of enlightenment so that we are better prepared to avoid similar catastrophes while laying the groundwork for an improved existence for ourselves and others.

On a related note, I read an article the other day in the sports section about a 56 year-old female minister who is an amateur boxer.  Besides being amazed at the tenacity of this unassuming and older woman, the quotes in the article reminded me of Jason’s pre-game ritual of listening to the scene in “Balboa” where Rocky explains to his son what defines a winner versus a loser (“not how hard you get hit but…”).  Some of them are as follows and worth serious examination as to how we react to obstacles we may encounter.

– “You learn to take a punch…and that soreness is not pain.  The literal informs the metaphorical… Refraining pain is part of spiritual growth.”

– “The biggest thing about taking a punch is your ego reacts, and there’s no better spiritual lesson than not trying to pay attention to your egos reaction.”

– Boxing “reminds me of the difference between feeling neurological pain and real pain.  With neurosis, there are lots of things that feel like assaults on the self.  With greater degrees of mental, [physical], and emotional health, fewer things feel like assaults on the self.”

I really took a lot from those quotes.  When faced with challenges, our first response is usually generated from our egos because we find it difficult to understand the reasoning and source for our misfortune.  Remember again – LIFE IS FAIR and it’s unreasonable to believe that we are insulated from the adversities that others encounter.  Once we overcome the perceived insults to our egos, we can be more adept at facing our obstacles.  Then when that occurs, we need to ignore the psychological and neurotic pain, so that we can address and absorb the “real” pain that we must undergo to surpass that which we would rather, but have no choice to, avoid.

Being removed from our comfort zone is consequently unsettling and it takes a lot of desire, patience, courage, and inner-strength to return to that sense of well-being.  The easiest way is to surrender meekly to our tragedies and let them dictate the remainder of our days because unless confronted, we remain slaves to their continued presence.  The most difficult is to somehow prevail beyond the “real pain”, doubt, insecurities, and assaults on our psyche so that we do not remain further paralyzed to these continued deficits.  I’ve found no comfort in surrender (although I’ve been close to that point), because any constructive independence I can assert is dependent on my ability to neutralize tragedy and their associated demons.

More of who I am is based on what I’ve overcome than what I’ve been given and I feel better prepared for the next onslaught, if and when it occurs.  I have to remind myself to serve as my own master rather than kneel before one who is my figurative assailant!

I will leave you with one last quotation. Where do you see yourself in the following divisions of of the populace?  If in the latter, then I guess find comfort in the idea that “Life is NOT fair”!

“…there are persons who seem to have overcome obstacles and by character and perseverance to have risen to the top.  But we have no record of the numbers of able persons who fall by the wayside, persons who, with enough encouragement and opportunity, might make great contributions.”

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We Are Waiting On You… – Message To My Sons

24 Friday Mar 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Inspiration, Joy, Life, Motivation, Self-Help, Sharing, Sports, The Journey

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3/10/17

“Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do.” – Orison Swett Marden

You know my remarkable children of  unlimited promise, my good Lord blessed my prayers with the birth of two healthy sons who’ve grown within the brilliance of the drawings I created in my mind and heart and then so much more beyond that.  Then on top of that, He answered your prayers by giving you a life of opportunities that you’ve discovered and captured.  He’s now left it to you to answer many of the prayers and beliefs for yourself that you have faith in because as one would assume, He’s fairly occupied with more serious matters that confound our world.

Remember my quote: “Be the god of your own dreams” and produce the answers and results you want, even if it means taking chances out of your comfort zone.  Why?  Because God is now waiting and relying on you to take your own actions to reward His faith in you, my children, and average efforts only produce average results (if any at all). Upon reflection, I really do wish I understood that In my youth but then again, I either didn’t have someone from where I stand today to enlighten me to those things that I’ve afforded you to consider, or did not listen when I should have and give it the attention it deserved when it was relayed to me.

You need to understand that you can control the momentum, pace, and direction of your own fate within the design of His supreme, yet undiscovered, plan He has for you.  So, be diligent and determined in your efforts so you reveal all the best that may be in store for you because as I see it, God is waiting on you, not the other way around.  Make us both proud because we believe in you more than you can understand but only you can validate that faith so make it happen!

Feelings And Emotions – Thoughts For My Sons

14 Tuesday Mar 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, kindness, Life, Peace, Self-Help, The Journey

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3/14/17

“Often in life, the most important question we can ask ourselves is:  do we really have the problem we think we have?” – Sheri Fink

Boys, I want to share something with you to remember and hopefully incorporate into your mindset through those daunting times which will undoubtedly arise in your lives  and may lead you to the fringes of despair.

Be honest with those deeply rooted “feelings” that trouble and can confuse you so that you find a way to constructively address, express, and release them in order to understand what led to their causes so that better steps can be taken to avoid them in the future.

However, do not allow yourselves to be susceptible or vulnerable to impulsively submit to all of your “emotions” because they can change in an instant and consequently, they are not always as reliable for you to trust as often as you might anticipate.

Give it some thought because in the end, your understanding of the differences between both will lead you towards a profoundly better destination, rather than being led down unpromising paths because of an inability to make distinctions between the precise impact and value of the two.

Plans For New Days – Message To My Family

10 Friday Mar 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Confessional, Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, kindness, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, Thanks, The Journey

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(A friend who has a copy of my book recently wrote me about how much these particular thoughts meant to her so I thought I’d re-post it again.  This is the unedited version – Joe Dico)

1/5/15

“Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.  Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets.  Life’s too short to be anything but happy.” – Unknown

I don’t think I have to elaborate much beyond the contents of the quotation above.  However I will include something I wrote awhile back.

“Find the best in you, maintain it for as long as you are able, channel it towards the best available to you, and discover that which was once beyond your horizon.  It’s funny (maybe not so funny) but since my injury, I have felt that way more frequently and I feel sometimes guilty for the amount of undefinable happiness I feel.  I do see more than what I should have imagined before and though I may share it in odd ways, at least I share and rest assured it is genuine.  That’s the bottom line I guess.  Find the path to feel the best about yourself, embrace and cherish it, use it, share it, and then you’ll feel good just about almost everything large and small.  We can only give to others based on what we reserve and allow to give to ourselves.”

With all that in mind and after you find that particular baseline, don’t hesitate, don’t think so much, and do it all to the best of your capabilities and with all at your disposal at the time, because the return on your investment will be abundantly in your favor and those around you.  Have a good day(s).

Stay Within His Plan

05 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Confessional, Finding Happiness, Reflection

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Accountability, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Motivation, Peace, Self-Help, Sharing, The Journey

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Photo contributed by Marlena Groomer)

3/5/17

Seeing as how I believe that God or a greater power in the universe has a plan for us, I’ve learned through experience, trial, and an abundance of avoidable error that it’s best to do all we can to try not to head in a direction that gets in the way, or take us farther from that plan! – Joe Dico

Deeper Into The Cave – Father To Sons

02 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by jdicochea in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection, Sports Equals Life

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Accountability, Family, Future, Guidance, Happiness, Inspiration, Joy, kindness, Life, Motivation, Self-Help, Sharing, Sports, The Journey

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3/2/17

“Dream big and dare to fail. ” – Norman Vaughan

Boys, at this stage of your young lives and when you begin to think you have done all you can do and reached the ceiling and outer boundaries of what you can achieve, please  ablige your father’s belief in you and do the following:

Explore, discover, and create more with what has not been found by going deeper into your caves because what you will uncover for yourself will likely surprise, shock, and amaze you by the revelations awaiting within, and what you fear that makes you hesitate to go farther is only an aberration of what likely won’t occur.

Trust me – there is so much more within you waiting to be revealed and you’re so close to it by venturing outside the zones of your comfort and taking those steps because what may not be seen yet is only simple, optimistic decisions and choices away that in hindsight were the best ones to make after all!

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