Monthly Archives: February 2016

As The Dreamers,You Must Draft The Script – To My Boys

29 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life, Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

image

(Christian and Jason Ready To Begin Season – J Ready To Repeat as CIF Champ)

2/22/15

“All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.”

So what I need to impress upon you, if you have not already started to understand, is that significant and frequent deviations from plans for your future goals will be more difficult and sometimes impossible to rectify as time moves on.  Because of your youth, you’re not removed far enough to truly understand the concepts of “regret” and “remorse” but you older boys might be getting a taste of it as the quality of your high school efforts become exposed for their true value as you move forward.  Choices of what you do, choose not to do, forget to do, or put off doing hoping to make up later, tend to provide objective measurements of what’s been accomplished, what still can be done, and what may have been lost!

I know you’ve heard all this before “ad nauseam” but I hope you are beginning to better realize that much of what you thought was ahead of you is starting to either happen now or get a hell of a lot closer.  I mean college is on the horizon for Cole and Jason which will be the steppingstone towards your initial significant personal and professional lives.  That scares the shit out of me if only thinking about what you have done to date, what still needs to be done, still can do, and what you will need to make up to ensure that you are in the right place for the best things to occur.

Time is starting to speed up if you guys haven’t noticed and probably more so because baseball generates quicker movement of your days given the additional demands beyond the normal requirements at your age.  Here’s big questions for Cole and J: Think back to when you started high school and your thoughts of where you expected to be, where your at now how, and how close you are to that place.  Is there anything you would do different if you could to get closer to that spot?  Is there anything you didn’t do or put off resulting in modification of your dreams?  And if you did modify or alter those dreams, did you uncover anything about yourself that you should have discovered sooner to re-certify your commitment and dedication to those dreams and muster the courage to keep those dreams alive?  Welcome to maturity and potential regret!

Crap, those questions terrify me when I answer the same questions in looking back!  I don’t need to repeat the story about why I decided not to go to USC after going through orientation, putting it off for stupid reasons thinking I’d get back there in due time some day.  Time ran out on my return, the road became so much harder with no guarantees, the journey that much longer, and somehow I stumbled my way through law school to become a lawyer.  I regret not finishing while my Mother was alive to see it but I still had one of the greatest moments of my life:  walking up the aisle after graduation, catching my fathers eye, and both of us raising our fists in the air in victory and relief.  He left me 3 months later but at least I fulfilled his faith in me when many others weren’t so sure.

Boys I want to be there for as many of your great moments and like I said, don’t live like it’s your last day but like it could be mine because I’ve been so darn close and I’m that damn selfish!  “All the time in the world?”  That’s an abstract myth that can no longer be utilized to justify not doing what needs to be done RIGHT NOW!  Jason I’m so proud that you raised your grades and your practice SAT scores are improving because that’s a strong measurement of your conviction and drive towards some of your ultimate goals.  Mom and I are finding ourselves being further removed to the sidelines and you should start utilizing this time to exercise self-fulfillment and self-evolution.  The same goes for my oldest “son” Cole (and Brady too) because as a senior, you’re closer to the ladders you’ll have to climb, if you choose, to reach the heights that you, your family, and I see you climb.  Don’t let us down!

So the time is NOW for you older boys and Christian and Brice are watching you closely to serve as examples of what to do and what not to do.  Welcome to part of your legacies!  I’ve said this to you J before: don’t just aim for a college because they want you but, what YOU want and is best for YOU because that should be part of any plan.  That should apply for relationships, jobs, etc.  If you boys only felt what I see in you (actually I think Christian has an idea because he’s so darn confident), you would attack the opportunities not only available to you but those you could create with some ingenuity.  Just my “two cents” as usual.  As a junior, you have this summer to really formulate and actuate an effective plan.  Don’t take the easy route because most people do and there’s a lot of competition just to land in the “average” category.  “Courage” is an overused description for mundane and ordinary achievements but it does take a lot of courage to not only have plans for lofty goals but to remain committed and determined to fulfill them and that’s where only the elite of “YOUR WORLD” can reside.  You have the power, control that power, own the outcome, and are answerable for the results, so serve as the “god” of your dreams!

Last quote: “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there!” Will Rodgers.  Never be caught taking lazy steps!

Addendum:  Cole is playing baseball at Marrymount College and Jason will be playing at Santa Clara University.  And Christian?  Just wait and see because I know he will not fall short of the dreams he has envisioned for himself.  He’s pretty damn good!

Advertisement

Boys As You Grow, I Hear You More

25 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

image

3/29/15

“Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say.  It’s the only thing you have to offer.”
-Barbara Kingsolver

The parent-child connection is one of, if not the most, vexing, complicated, and complex relationships that exists or at least from a parents’ viewpoint.  With marriage, the law provides the option for divorce to disengage from the person who no longer fits in your plans.  There are no such choices as a parent (at least in my mind) because of not only our biological and genetic connections, but the spiritual and emotional ones as well.  I know without a doubt Mom and I cannot fathom any reason that would lead us to completely give up or lose faith in that relationship because your heartbeats are synchronized with our own.  You boys are what we dreamed about well before you were born and once introduced into our lives, your presence each day feeds the eminent fulfillment of those dreams.

Now that you are getting older and maturing at a pace faster than we are often able to appreciate, I guess that we have to factor in your thoughts and views as they relate to your present and future.  Let’s face it, you are increasingly becoming more responsible for the direction you take and answerable for the choices you make but for now, accept that we still have the final say in most things.  Still I’d like to think we’ll work together since we are mainly on the same page, or so it would seem.

So we can pretty much agree that I show little restraint in expressing my own thoughts and what I have to say as honestly as possible.  I really try my best to avoid being vindictive or hurtful when I do since I think I have a decent grasp of my own vocabulary, and I’m sensitive and tactful enough to phrase certain thoughts and opinions in what I hope is a helpful and productive manner.  I’m realistic enough to understand that I’m not always perfect despite my intentions because of the manner of my delivery coupled with the interpretation and perception of the intended recipient.  Know this though about what I have to say: my intensions when it comes to people I truly care about are, for the most part, genuinely well-intended, carefully designed, and meant to be constructive despite how they are initially received.  I get it because I tend to be entrenched in my own opinions and views, and stubborn enough that it takes some time to penetrate my defenses.  What can I say – it’s just a “Joe Dico” trait that’s been passed down to me and has seemingly been transferred to you guys but there’s enough of Mom in you to sometimes balance it out.

Here is something that may or may not surprise you.  As you boys have gotten older, I’m listening to you not only with my ears but with more of an open mind to the thoughts and opinions that you express.  What you say is becoming more relevant to my way of thinking because it has actual relevance to you guys in “your” lives so I’ve learned to respect it more and shockingly, sometimes agree with you when you’re point of view has validity.  It may not happen as instantaneously as you’d prefer but give me a break because it takes some time to alter 52 years of “wisdom” through reflection and contemplation to see that you just may be more right than I thought I may have initially been (notice I didn’t use the word “wrong”).

Jason and Christian if you haven’t noticed, I’ve given you more latitude as you get older as opposed to giving in to you because your actions validate the conviction and reasoning behind your opinions, beliefs, and requests.  Remember sons that I’ll continue to trust and have faith in you as long as you continue to earn it and don’t worry that slight missteps will alter that.  Just stay away from making frequent stupid or huge mistakes for two reasons.  One it will potentially destroy the good work you’ve done to date and the trust you’ve built.  Second and more importantly, you don’t want to gamble with my efforts towards patience, leniency, and understanding because everything has it’s limits so just don’t risk it – it will not be in either of our best interests!

I get that you are works in progress but really, aren’t we all throughout our lives? Look, although I know more about life and it’s intricacies, I am not that delusional to maintain I know everything there is to know about life, people, and for that fact YOU GUYS, and almost every day I’m reminded of that fact.  As I’ve shared with you, at times I have had a somewhat unorthodox and unconventional history so there’s a great deal of information I’ve acquired for my benefit and hopefully yours.  That along with a connection with what you may go through and how it relates to the current challenges and the ones beyond your horizon gives them more credibility.  They just can’t be disregarded because they will help guide you through many situations if you allow them to factor into your own thinking.  Just trust me because we have many of the same goals and objectives and I’m not trying to relive my youth but just help you through yours!

With that said, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I have to give your voice a measure of legitimacy for the best reason I can think of:  I should!  As you grow up and slowly move ahead, Mom and my roles are changing much to our pride while still holding on to “our little guys”.  Remember that we measure how we raised and what we taught you by how you act and the manner you live and live among others.  I applaud the thoughts you share but only if they reflect your honest and personal analysis.  Don’t puppet someone else’s opinions or views out of conformity, submission, or convenience, because I’ll know the difference and it makes it easier to minimize or reject them. I want to hear YOUR voice and the mind that provide it’s foundation.

Oh and once you have the courage and/or confidence to challenge your parents viewpoints, I expect you to exercise that level of conviction with others whose authority certainly pales in comparison to ours.  Just the “Dico” way because if we have something important and of value to stand up for, it doesn’t make sense or offer any benefit to keep it to ourselves!  We did not raise you to be pacifists or followers when presented with unreasonable and illogical choices and from my own experience, it’s best to fight from the center of the ring than against the ropes.

I’ll end with a quote from someone who “never took a lazy step” through out her young life and lived and died through the conviction of the words that defined her. “One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.” – Joan of Arc

With The Sunrise I Discovered… – Modified At End

22 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Looking forward, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

image

2/22/16

Streaks of thin white clouds
Paint a vast baby blue sky
The brush held by God
Who never wakes up late

With the world’s worries on pause
And the Artist deal at work
Fluorescent yellow, vibrant red, and
Festive orange begin to fill His canvas

Light bursts it’s way into the frame
Unveiling grassy hills, towering trees
And fallen leaves to appear
Amidst all the reborn colors

Endless possibilities brought about
By these superior rays of warmth
Greeting the liveliest moment
Oh, how I love the morning!

By Jason Dicochea

So in addition I’m offering the following quote.  “There’s a sunrise and a sunset everyday.  You can choose to see it OR, you can put yourself in the way of beauty.” – From the film, The Wild.

Seems like an easy choice don’t you think?  Obviously my 18 year-old gets it, at least most of the time other than when he’s too locked into his phone, but who could ask for someone of his age to at least have a more than basic understanding of a sunrises’ importance.  There was a time I forget but never again my friends.  A sunrise and/or a sunset seems to look differently each time I’m fortunate to catch them based on the grand architecture of the heavens, coupled with my ever changing moods, emotions, and perception at the time I see them, and how I feel after I adopt them and incorporate them into my mind, heart and soul.  They just seem too valuable to miss or ignore, but then again that’s just me and Jason.  However I’m sure we’re not alone in this regard but it’s always nice to be reminded every once in awhile of something that seems so obvious but oftentimes can get overshadowed amongst the pace of our days.  Just something to think about.

Cheers To A Great Day – Thoughts To My Family

20 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

 

image

(Just After Sunrise In Malibu)

2/20/16

“People must feel that the natural world is important and valuable and beautiful and wonderful and an amazement and a pleasure.” – David Attenborough

Unless you guys don’t know who the author of this quote is, you’re probably more familiar with him as the owner of the dinosaur island in “Jurassic Park”.  He also was a highly acclaimed English actor and Oscar-winning director of the movie, “Gandhi”.

No matter how we feel as we wake up in the morning, I’ve learned and recently was reminded by my good friend Brett, that it’s best to approach each day as we are introduced to the 1,440 minutes that lie ahead of us of the following:  Today is either going to be a great day or a great learning experience!

I mean, that approach seems to serve (at least to me) to give an understanding I need to cling on to so that we never underestimate the importance of each day that we are blessed enough to live.  There is no justification to not adventure outside our comfort zones, unrestricted by fear, to explore the “greatness” that will be revealed to ourselves either during the precise “great” moment(s) or at the end of the day or at some point thereafter upon quiet reflection and please, take the time to reflect upon it, because what we don’t learn from just might end up the next time around not so “great”.  With my age and a considerable amount of hindsight, I know what the “F” I’m talking about through a lot of trial and probably too many errors.  Trust me on this one and I’ve changed my outlook, either out of awareness and/or desperation, more optimistically over time to considerably change most aspects of my life for something so much for the better from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level.

I’ll end with a passage I wrote awhile back that profoundly resonates more today than when I first wrote it with a greater understanding of my daily existence.  “Let me begin with this genuine assessment of my 52 years on this planet. I have had a GREAT life!  Has every day been great?  Of course not nor were they supposed to be!  Have I always lived or decided well?  Nope!  Has everything gone just the way I dreamt or hoped it would be?  Maybe I thought it would when I was younger but now I know that my actions or lack of actions played a big part in that – still I’ve achieved a lot.  So, would I change anything?  NOT REALLY!  Why?  First, my life is a product of my creation so I own it!  Second, I can’t!”

I’m not preaching or trying to give you personal advice because I’m not a priest or therapist.  All I ask is that you give it some thought, consideration, and a chance.  Catch you later and I’ll see you when I see you, God willing!  Cheers to the greatness of each day by how it turns out and what it will reveal to us.

Because I’m Your Dad And I Love You, Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

18 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Kindness, Looking forward, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

 

image

6/8/15

Jason because I’m your Dad I’m going to ask you to do the following when you make mistakes which will serve to provide me with the greatest gift:  Don’t be so hard on yourself and stop beating yourself up over things that are more a product of the circumstance, those which are out of your control, or just a result of you being human!  Basically whatever issues you’re thinking about with respect to any relationship you may have with any person will eventually resolve themselves over time with the greatest results arrising from the best you can do and provide for that which are under your control.  People are funny sometimes in not only how they respond to our actions or words, but also how we view or perseve them through our own eyes, expectations, and predictions.

In particular with respect to relationships when the other person may respond in ways that seem way out of proportion to what we’ve done, said, or the situation in question but here’s where compassion should rise to the forefront of our emotions and mindset instead of raising our level of frustration, anger, or stubbornly clinging to our defenses in return.  If someone ends up doing something that hurts you, consider that it’s because she’s heart and not thinking correctly because of her own pain or despair. Please steady yourself in the belief of who you pride yourself in being based on how you were raised and your character and although it’s difficult to do so at this stage of your life, there’s little benefit about giving an amount of overemphasis about what others may think of you because that’s their character, not yours, and what one does to insensitively hurt you is a greater reflection of them, not you.  We’re human, we sometimes make poor choices, say the wrong things, forget about the impact of what we do, etc., – who doesn’t at any age and you see it everywhere from those you’d never expect?

You can’t predict or project how some issues will resolve themselves until they run their course but in the end, you will be better by what is revealed about yourself, the other person, and some clarity about what you mean or maybe don’t mean to each other.  Unfortunately you have to weather the storm before the clouds begin to clear and the sun starts to peak out from behind them and it serves no purpose to engage in unhealthy self-deprivation that makes you question your worth when you mean so much to so many who know you for the person you are, and most importantly me!

Nothing matters other than what’s right in front of you, my child, and don’t let your confidence unravel because you unnecessarily beat yourself up over things that don’t deserve it and frankly, few come to mind that arise to that level.  It’s certainly understandable and even healthy if you get a little pissed off, angry, or whatever you need to do to keep you from internalizing the unbearable weight of feelings to the extent it chips away at your mental and emotional infrastructure.  Be kind to yourself son and do whatever is required to keep you focused on the most important tasks at hand.

Remember that their are no “Dico”  victims or martyrs.  Look where you are at today.  Not everyone has the opportunities that you’ve taken advantage of, the ones you’ve created, and the ones that lie ahead of you.  Today requires the best in you, and so will every tomorrow too as you strive to achieve all the important goals you’ve laid out for yourself.  Come on!  As far as relationships go, most of the time the worst byproduct of unfortunate times are hurt feelings and fractured hearts and in time, they will heal – trust me on this one!  I will feel bad for you when those time present themselves and you’ll always have my support but it’s difficult to generate real sympathy under most of those circumstances because that’s better reserved for those who are poor, hungry, etc., don’t you think?

You are Jason “f’ing” Dicochea as I’ve told you before so many times to build you up and a model of excellence on so many levels but you’re not perfect and no one expects you to be!  So bless my life as a father by being kind to yourself during the most difficult times and don’t be so hard on yourself because of an impossible level of perfection that you don’t have to meet.  If it gets too hard to accomplish it, you know how to find me and you can count on me to set you straight because I’m lucky enough to be your dad and I love you!  Thanks in advance kid.

And With Each Day…

16 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Looking forward, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

image

(Malibu Sunrise)

2/15/16

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” – Epictetus

It is imperative that at the moment we wake up in the morning and start to generate our first thoughts for the day that we remind ourselves of the following:  What we need to do that is important to maintain the best of who we are, what can be done to get us closer to who we intend to be, and what we can make happen to fortify the occurrence of both.  It can’t be done without commitment, motivation, inspiration, and most significantly, consistent hard work even when the first three are seemingly unavailable.

Being Somebody For Someone – Thoughts To My Family

13 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Kindness, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

image

12/20/14

“Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.”

I have to thank Deb for sending me this quote and I was extremely humbled when she wrote “THIS IS YOU!!!!”  It’s more meaningful that the compliment comes from someone who continues to embody this quote by how she treats people each day so effortlessly, whether in her job or on a personal level, that there is no doubt of its genuineness.

I’ve said before that I have owed so much sometimes to those I know the least.  We all know those types of people.  The ones who we just met or barely know and for some inexplicable reason, we share the most sequestered and protected things hidden within our soul that are generally shared in only our private conversations with our Creator.  Maybe it’s the desperate need for cathartic conversation coupled with the minuscule risk of retribution from what we share.

That’s Deb almost all the time, and it’s impossible for me count the number of people who have found their temporary and trusted “confessional” within her presence to cleanse the products of their human existence.  It’s an overused cliche but during those times that people connect with her, if even momentarily, she is their “Angel sent from above” because by being someone who allows them to be heard, they no longer feel alone.  As a consequence, their world is less lonely and confusing among the boundaries of their insecurities and frailties.

She’s my wife so of course, she’s too close to me to truly appreciate those gifts or take advantage of them all the time.  It’s understandable because of the emotional intensity the weight of our titles as “husband/wife” and “parents” has created.  Nonetheless she’s my best friend – I mean don’t really have much choice given her proximity.

But enough about her and back to me since that’s whose really important, right?  I occasionally find comfort and catharsis through the “Angels” that occasionally cross my path when I’m lucky enough to recognize them.  I’ve found them everywhere in the most unlikely places under the most unexpected circumstances.  In looking back, if I knew their names or addresses, I’d send them a Christmas Card thanking them for their contributions but I guess I never got around to getting their name or have forgotten.  I suppose when figuratively stripped down and exposed through my unburdening, that otherwise important information gets neglected in the process.  But I do know that with those contributions, it’s incumbent upon me to seize moments where I may be able to do the same.

And now back to Deb’s observation that the above quote is “me”.  Maybe, but it’s probably as much a matter of outcome rather than intent.  I mean I am constantly striving for peaceful and tranquil days and I’ve learned that a majority of such objectives can’t be satisfied without the contributions of those within the center of my immediate hemisphere.

I’ve figured out a few things traveling on the”Dico Express Lane” of my life.  As I’ve said before, rarely have I taken “lazy steps” and I’m not inclined to delay acting upon opportunities where I can accomplish something meaningful for me or someone else.

We are a product of the creation and/or imagination of a Higher Power but what I do each day is in large part the result of my own creation and imagination.  I know I want to be happy but that happiness is measured in large part in the return I get in investing in others’ happiness.  I know how I wish to be loved but I can only control how well I love others and hope for the best.  I try to see the best in myself and part of that is by controlling how I treat others, even if it takes a bit of work to see and hopefully bring out the best in them.  In the end, the response is not as important as the intent since I’m fed and galvanized through every effort.

This has been a good year and not because of any particular majestic acts or gifts of grandeur.  I might count “baseball” as an ever expanding source of my sons’ (including my “adopted” son Cole) extraordinary offerings because it’s the common denominator shared in my family’s and friends’ lives.  But beyond that, the last year has mainly been a large tapestry of simple, singular, and idiosyncratic daily events.  Most of my days are at the Spectrum Club and obviously not to be measured by my physical results. BIt does allow me to exercise my right to be genuinely interested and kind to those who routinely circle around me.  From that, I’ve developed a greater awareness and appreciation of all things without being overwhelmingly consumed about the progress, or lack thereof, of my recovery over the last year.

My family and friends are my constants but I cannot express how significant people at Spectrum like Stevie, Val, Mina, Alisa, Jessie, Marlena, Paula, Joe, Elisa, Nicole, Danielle, etc, or new friends like Cathy, Kay, John, Lori, Nancy, Esther, etc, have meant and still mean to me.  Maybe just random people to you and would have remained that way to me if I didn’t risk more than a brief “hello” or simple “nodding of the head” as I passed them by at the gym.  Early on after my injury when I was arguably at my most vulnerable and uncertain point in my life, I just decided to take a chance and reach out where before I might have been more guarded.  It convinced me that interaction with even the most casual acquaintances or relative newcomers to my routine sequence of events could still fill important voids on a daily basis and in an odd way, those “random” people and countless “strangers” have unknowingly given me more in return than I’ve provided to them.  I guess that by extending my personal surroundings, I created additional social interconnections that are now part of my growing catalog of life’s “basic, simple elegance” and therefore, perpetuate the desire to share more of who I am to make those who could use it feel like “somebody” to me!

Lastly I often think of these words by Rob Thomas in the song “Someday” because they have meaning when I see someone who just might need a smile, a chuckle, or just a hug.  Maybe I can “shed a little light on everything around [me], man it’s great to be someone” because “sometimes we don’t really notice just how good it can get.”  I love the words to the entire song and the inspirational video because I have to remember to be kind because life is not always easy and for everyone I meet, someone may be fighting a hard battle and be looking for a little kindness.  You just never know, and that someone just might be me at times so when I get a smile in return, I am transported back to where I need and want to be!

Perfect Moments

10 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

image

(Photo Contributed By Marlena Groomer)

2/10/15

There are times when we get lost in where we think we need to be based on an imperfect perception of how life is manifesting itself.  However some of the most perfect moments are those that present themselves after we slow down, emotionally and mentally, long enough to understand that where we’re at and who may be there with us is precisely the location where we need to be because anywhere else would rob of us of something of intangible and indefinable importance.  I can’t describe exactly what to look for so that those moments are more easily identifiable but for me, I guess I just know by how it feels.  I pray that we are on alert enough so that we don’t miss too many of those occasions and that when recognized, we savor them with all levels of our comprehension because from my experience, they just don’t happen f’ing enough.  – Joe Dicochea

Trying and Thinking Correctly – Thoughts To My Sons

08 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by in Baseball Equals Life, Finding Happiness, Looking forward

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

image

Photo re: Jason committing to play baseball at University of Santa Clara

(Originally Posted February, 2015)

“I question the reasoning behind the application of the following terms when mistakes are made: someone was “trying to hard”, “trying to do too much”, or “thinking too much”.

I guess it’s a matter of interpretation but those phrases just don’t make much sense to me, whether in baseball or on a larger scale, life!  Generally they’re used in sports when someone makes mistakes while attempting to complete routine or ordinary tasks during a competition that one is generally expected to perform.  For the sake of argument, let’s assume that nothing is “routine” since it takes a lot of work and practice for you guys to do what you do so well to make them look routine.

“Trying too hard”, “trying to do too much”, and “thinking too much”, are incorrect descriptions.  The terms should be “trying too wrong (or incorrectly), “trying to do too much of the wrong (or incorrect) things, or “thinking too much of the wrong (or incorrect) things or about distractions that should not even enter your thinking.  Maybe even add “using your resources in the wrong (or incorrect) way”.

Boys this as much about the mental, emotional, and physical preparation needed before games and then during every pitch, at-bat. play, etc.  Baseball is a game of precision!  Your practices and the habits you develop must be perfectly precise so that any unexpected deviation in a play is not met with instant anxiety or panic.  That’s where the mental and emotional control is essential.

Let me equate it to combat soldier terms – not as extreme but you’ll get the gist.  Teams are like a platoon of infantrymen whose performance as individuals protect and benefit the group.  Your preparation and perfect execution of your required roles is imperative to not only your survival but your fellow “band of brothers”.  Any deviation from your attention to the details, concentration, and focus will have a negative impact on achieving the platoon’s objectives and success of any operation.  It’s no accident that during the first half of the 20th century, some of the best college football teams and athletes were from the service academies because of their advanced discipline, training, and being taught abounds coordination of units.

At this stage, you have had a lot of different coaches who are presumed to be “experts” regarding baseball and they may well be in certain areas.  Just remember that you guys are the only ones who are experts about “YOU”, and have a better understanding of what works for you.  This is not little league and you are beyond the time of major overhauls to your swing, fielding, throwing, etc., so filter through the overwhelming information provided and use only that necessary to correct what should be simple flaws.  Moreover you know what’s needed to achieve what is required of you and I’ll bet you already know (or should know) when you haven’t prepared enough or done it incorrectly. You have made it this far because of your gifts.  If there is a problem, fix it NOW!  If your process is too complicated, simplify it!  If your mind is scattered, narrow things down so it’s only focused on what matters at the time! You owe it to yourself and your “brothers”.  When you comprehend that you have greater responsibilities, you’ll understand how important it is to fulfill all aspects of your obligations.

So bottom line is put the perfect work and preparation in so that the performance reflects both.  Be a master of each situation because your mind is centered around nothing beyond it.  When observers take notice, let them frequently comment that you “are so consistent”, make it look “so easy” and “so natural”, or “always doing the right thing”, “having a baseball mind” and “a model of concentration”.  It only matters that you know what it took to make it occur that way and that YOU control those perceptions.

Oh and FYI, as you put this into practice, you may be surprised how it applies to the life you will lead and the objectives you will eventually add to those that currently exist!

The Power Behind Our Dreams – Message To My Sons

02 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Finding Happiness, Hope, Looking forward, Reflection

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

image

(Photo contributed by Deb Dicochea)

2/4/15

“We’ve removed the ceiling above our dreams.  There are no more impossible dreams.”

We embark on so many journeys towards dreams of our own creation and we often find that taking the first step appears to be the most daunting.  Maybe it’s due to the fact that by working for success, we have to weigh the risk of failure.  I can understand that mindset because there’s a tendency to focus on the complexities of what may be far down the road, and the failure to under-simplify those first few steps.

Let’s break it down to basics.  The worst part of any journey rarely occurs in the first few steps we take unless we foolishly step off a cliff so we might as well get started.  Little is discovered (or lost) at the beginning of our travels other than going in what we hope is the right direction towards the fulfillment of our dreams.  Hope is at it’s strongest when our energy and faith has yet to be tested so we shouldn’t have it influenced with speculation about improbable or unlikely failures because we are nowhere near finding out what the future holds.  Just do something and take those first steps forward!

Of course the greatest confusion occurs during the middle of your quest when the unexpected challenges obstruct your path.  This is where the instinctive reaction is to modify the scale of the original dream so to avoid facing the more formidable challenges or worse, conform to others views of how your goals should be perceived.  PLEASE DON’T DO THAT!  This is just the natural consequence of all great aspirations that call for a test of your character, self-confidence, commitment, and dedication to the belief in the individual design of YOUR dreams.  Don’t be distracted or dismayed because you can no longer see your port of origin and have yet to see overwhelming evidence of your destination and I’ll tell you why.

The moment you created a dream with the belief that it was obtainable, you gave it a life that will communicate with you when you go off course so listen along the way.  When you’ve shared that dream with someone who unconditionally cares for you and believes that you can accomplish it, you gave a voice to that person who will help you through any moments of doubt or weakness.  Sometimes it’s lost in the delivery or translation but we forget that the people we fight with the most, i.e., your parents, are the ones who are fighting for you with the greatest amount of devotion!

I’m often dismayed when people rely on the power of “prayer” or seek the intervention of “fate” to either overcome the obstacles in their way and/or magically fulfill their dreams without further effort.  If for some explicable reason some aspects of that original vision come true, they should not be confused with “miracles” but rather accidents or sheer luck.  My suspicion is that what was initially envisioned was modified or altered due to a measure of capitulation to that which was confronted and not overcome, or the influence of someone else’s demands.  To me it’s difficult to differentiate between gifts versus achievement and although I’m appreciative of the former, I only take personal pride in the latter.

I’ve said before that if there is something that we want bad enough, then we need to serve as the “god” of our dreams because our Creator may have other more important issues that require His attention.  If I pray, it’s generally for strength or clarity because some parts of every journey weigh on me more heavily than others with my sight temporarily dimmed.  But here’s the thing I have told you boys in the past: I BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING THAT YOU ENVISION YOURSELF DOING UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE!  That knowledge should be enough to fortify you through the most dire of circumstances and the confidence to know that I will carry you if necessary as long as my heart is still beating, because your lives have been a part of each of my heartbeats since your birth.

So here is my hope for you boys and actually for all those I care for – that each day of your life’s be a combination of living for a dream, and living the life of dreams fulfilled!  Each dream begins with the vision of what you foresee for yourselves and starts with the hope it shall come true.  It is maintained through the belief that despite any adversities, you have the strength, the support, and the capability of overcoming them.  More importantly, you will remember that every one of your dreams belongs to you and that no one is entitled to take them away from you.  Finally once you’ve reached the final destinations of your journeys, you will understand that all foreseeable possibilities will become probabilities and that from there, you will live a life of promise rather than limitations!

There are two quotes I want you to carry with you.  First “I love those who yearn for the impossible” because I’ve learned that there’s no point in underestimating anyone, especially you guys.  And finally, “without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.  Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” So plan your dreams well, and live well after you’ve achieved them!